And NOW. .it's December

Although I/we know some people who are jobless, I still have the attitude that some who will 'suffer' due to this economic downturn/recession/depression-- whatever we decide to call it-- may be those who have less willingness to ask the tough questions about what they may really want to do with their time and lives. As I look at my parents who lived through two World Wars and many financial downturns, they became stronger and wiser because of those events. They did not turn to the government to 'bail them out'. They learned to save and to pay with cash. They learned to 'do without' and to help each other. People can still learn those things. We can recover the resiliency that been the trademark of those who 'survived' the challenges of life.

I know that history shows when many people get laid off, they found ways to blend their specific strengths and gifts to meet the needs of others. There is a principle in the 12-step problem of overcoming addictions that recognizes that hitting bottom must happen before people can face the fact they MUST change. Hopefully, more governmental leaders and individuals will learn from this fact. Change cannot happen without pain.

I think that we will see fewer people spending on their 'hobbies' and we might concentrate more on the 'needs' rather than the wants. Perhaps, in fact, that means that more people will be attracted to working for non-profits, and understanding the benefits of such work. The satisfaction that one receives when helping someone else is difficult to explain but it is something that is somewhat universal. It also can not be easily taught through logical learning processes. It requires the inclusion of emotion. Therefore, affective education. That term may not be much used these days, but 30-40 years ago it was recognized as an excellent tool for training in prevention. Now we use 'case studies' or 'best practices', but the term affective education is not seen much.

The emotion that is referred to is 'passion' for what one believes to right-- therefore, ethics--which is something else we don't too good of job of doing in schools. Zero tolerance is not ethics. It is blind obedience. We are beginning to see the outcome of zero tolerance. . Intolerant children. children and teachers who can't make decisions on their their own. They look to the rules of the country/institution/workplace to save them. How did I get on this topic? It seems I often get back to this basic stuff of emotional intelligence. .no matter how hard I try not to.

well. .it is December-- a time for holidays, and giving, and thinking about family and peace and caring about others. Fortunately, I work in a place where I get to enjoy helping people accomplish doing that (giving & caring) and it is not through traditional gifts.

so. .here's wishing you and yours a blessed holiday season, and a year-end that will help you be hopeful about the future, even in your doubts and fears of the future. LM

November has flown

It was 20 days ago when I last blogged. Since then we've elected a new President, much to my approval. My eldest has turned another year older . . and wiser. I am extremely proud of my adult children, and I try to remind them of that occasionally.

We may be having an early Thanksgiving Day /Eleanor 2nd Birthday gathering since Darrin & Family are taking an early Christmas Family Surprise Trip. He certainly loves surprising his children.

A date has been set to celebrate Granpa Schumm's (my dad) 100th birthday in January; and also in January I may be going to Africa for my first visit.

Four years ago this month I was privileged to be studying with some very special friends who helped me recognize my need for medical treatment for depression. Since then I have tried to make as many people as possible aware of the insidious ways that situational depression can sneak up on a person. So many people could be living their lives with a greater sense of fulfillment if they would be willing to seek help. Our current world situation and the stresses of continual change and workplace pressures are greater than in previous times. Fewer people must be handling more information, and decisions are required with less time for review.

However, technology can still not replace the importance of spending time in reflection and knowing how it really feels to relax. It may be able to determine if the mind is not stressed, but it cannot create that sense of peace. That must come from within. LM

Voting on other than ELECTION DAY

Who'd have thunk?. .
how did we advance so quickly in just 4 years that we can now accommodate people to vote at a time other than just one day every four years?. .. really?
that does not take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

In honor of progress, I will go vote "EARLY" today.

Let me know if you did the same. LM

Changing with the season

Fall is my favorite time of year. the air is fresh & crisp; the colors can be so invigorating. for me, I welcome the end of the hot days, since I'm not one to love the summer sports. It seems that the sunshine is just cleaner in Fall--at least here in Kansas. I usually choose to take some vacation this time of year. I have just returned from two weeks and 3,600 miles in the Rocky Mountain States. I traveled mainly Interstate highways this year, except for a stretch along the Salmon River in Idaho, and also practically following the Continental Divide (I think) in southern Colorado and northern New Mexico. The longer I was on the road, the more beautiful the colors became.

I felt part of the change. I actually could feel less stiffness in my back as I would lie down to sleep at night, even tho I fatigued from driving and was getting virtually no exercise--and I was keeping in touch with my office, since it was a sort of 'working vacation'. I had planned visits with about a dozen volunteers in communities along the way, to check in about the Alternative Gift Markets they are coordinating or planning to hold in the future.

The time alone in the car also gave me opportunity to better accept that there is so little that I really can control. But I did need to keep alert and be aware of my surroundings, since it is the season for hunting, and the deer & elk were being disturbed from their normal habitat.

Perhaps I am entering a new season of my life. One in which I can settle in and feel more secure, but also must stay aware for approaching storms. Now, however, I feel more prepared for those events than ever before. I think that is because I know that I have survived many previous storms--even with the unpredictable stock market and workplace angst. I gain comfort in the scripture that says "there is nothing new under the sun". .
and yet, each day there is something new. There is good news. To listen to many news stories, one would think that we are always 'breaking new records'. .but in many ways, that is simply number-crunching for the younger generation that has not weathered so many storms.

I watch my 99 year old father and realize what he has survived. .and still, he just lives one meal and one day at a time.. . I don't know if he reflects on things nearly so much as I. .but maybe he does. So many people have stories about the storms they have survived. We need to hear more of them to appreciate the changing of each season. Many of them are living now in the 'best time of their lives'. .and, yet, we Americans want so much more. I wonder why that is. LM

All Righty-then

I am going to try to join the technical age. I have just added a 'widget' to my blog site.. .this, in honor of my science-oriented offspring. altho it is not the center of my life, I do enjoy keeping up with science news. The topic that first led me to discovering this Discovery widget was the story on the diary of the Jewish astronaut Ramon who died in the Challenger explosion in January 2003.

as the story mentions, the display of the diary pages in the Israeli Museum coincide with the 60th anniversary of the establishment of the state of Israel. [about the time I was born] .but it is also the time of year for the Jewish high holidays. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur-- both which also happen at the time of year for me that I often find myself in deeply reflective mood-states.. . I enjoy taking vacations in the Fall, when it is cool and spend time doing nothing but sitting and reflecting. .that, to me, is what vacations should be all about. This year, I will begin a trek to CO, WY, and a first-time visit to Montana & Idaho. . .then back through UT, CO & NM before returning home.

By then, I should be tired, but refreshed and ready to hit the ground running for the busy season at the AGI office. LM

hopefully I can find more widgets that would interest my friends and blog-watchers.

what to do??

Although most of my life at this time centers around my work, I do have a family--and it is a rather interesting one, I think. When it comes to politics, a recent visit to my parents' home in NW Kansas reminded me of my roots as my sister and I had lively discussion about our memories and the ferver with which my 99-year-old Dad is still a staunch Democrat. So, I feel quite comfortable there. My son, however, and a couple other friends do not lean in that direction, and he and my daughters often exchange friendly sparring over their conflicting views on candidates and party politics in general. The girls are liberal Democrats, like me, but possibly for different reasons.

Our discussions are good-natured, but we all share the concern about what this country's future will bring for the next generation-- my grandchildren. My father's father left his home in Europe in 1908, seeking a better life for his family, and my parents survived two World Wars, the 1930's Depression and all the other 'crises' in 20th century USA/world history; they are neither wealthy nor poor, but they are comfortable. Media makes life rather overwhelming for most, but TV news is not the way to make decisions on most topics. It is for entertainment. Politics should not be entertainment, but it seems to have come to that.

I am hopeful, yet concerned, that wisdom and 'right' [justice] will prevail. Politics and leadership are not synonyms. How can we become a wiser nation? There are no simple solutions, or single, absolute right answers. Being rushed into making decisions is never a good way to deal with problems. Finding the facts takes more than just reports and convincing rhetoric and polls of the public. . it takes deep reflection. I wonder if our leaders have had the time to do that. LM

To fear or not to fear

With the economy in the news (a pleasant switch from the tabloid campaign trash?) there is at least a chance for some conversations of substance. I'm reminded of the old adage that most advertisers used to use sex to sell nearly everything. . .now, the 'ticket' to selling seems to be selling on fear: fear of getting (or looking ) old; fear of aches and pains; fear of losing ones self-esteem (credit with your neighbors) this used to be called 'keeping up with the Joneses'. .peer pressure to consume. . fear of going broke before your die (insurance).

however. .now it is simply just keeping a roof over your head, or keeping the robbers away from your door (security systems, buy in a 'safe' neighborhood, better schools where your children might not have to be going to school with 'violent' people that are different from you). .
and now. .invest in where your money is SAFE. in a bank that is FDIC insured. .sure. .now they can't/won't/don't even want to claim that is a sure thing.

so. .what is the answer? keeping your dollars in a sock in the mattress. .maybe.
avoiding opulence and extravagance? sure
living within your means. .by all means. .
but when and how did we ever get away from those basic common sense ideas any way?
when did we allow our selves and children to think that to 'have' was the only way?

Frugal people are no longer seen as something to be admired. .until, perhaps times like this week.
those who have savings in the bank and don't have to fear for their job or their next meal.

was it instant gratification? TV? advertising?

One book I have quoted in the past "Emotional Intelligence" states that people who can understand that delayed gratification is something worth waiting for are more secure and less emotional/aggressive/violent people.
is that the same as maturity?
the school of tough knocks?

Many people who survived the "Great Depression" and every other financial downturn since recognize that politics and the economy really do go in cycles. .and the 'end is near'. .has never been the 'end' yet.
If one looks at the theological concepts here, it could be a lesson of prevention. .or motivation to change one's habits. Such transitions in life can provide the fodder for introspection deep enough to 'hit bottom' and make a U turn. .
Some people will just end up blaming the 'system' and others will learn from it and grow.
Hopefully, the lessons that are learned will be etched in peoples' memories and recorded in their journals so that they can share them with their children and grandchildren. and avoid having to experience similar painful situations in their future.

Such is life. .without fear. .when we know we have the power to overcome the adversities that are inherent what we call 'living'. LM

If you are intrigued by the topic of the woes of consumerism, check out www.thestoryofstuff.org

Travel plans

Fall is the time that I prefer to take a vacation, and it also works well in our office schedule. Last year I was able to visit Jackson WY and Yellowstone & Teton National Parks. This year, I hope to go a little beyond that and check out Montana, Idaho, Utah, and swing back through Colorado and even New Mexico.

This will be a 'working' vacation-- just about 2 weeks. Along with seeing the beautiful scenic areas, I will visit places that are involved in working with us as volunteers. I'm hopeful that we can time my visits so that I can meet with many of them and help instill in them the enthusiasm that is the most important part of being effective in the work they are doing: educating and raising funds for people in need around the world.

Our new motto is that Alternative Gifts International connects people who want to help (these volunteers) with people who can provide help (the other non-profit agencies) for people who need help.
Bridges and concentric circles are symbols that represent the work we do. . if you read this and want more information, see www.alternativegifts.org
LM

Energy bursts

In my work I work with folks who, indirectly, are seeking alternative energy--especially for under-developed countries. But in my personal life, I find that my personal energy comes in fits and starts--not just physical energy, but also mental energy-- new ideas.

Having found personal 'affirmations' to be helpful for daily meditation reading, I am often amazed at to how the yearly cycle of reading the same book year after year brings special motivation and solace at the times when I need it most. This morning, for instance, the message was entitled "Things are Working Out". .which was a reminder that often when we've waited days or weeks or even months for a resolution to a problem, there is usually a 'lightbulb' day when the whole problem seems more 'solvable'.. .and sometimes, it seems, nothing more than time had changed.

Before reading that, I had indeed awoken with a brand new idea for an approach to a challenge that been facing a group at work. I felt enlightened, and lightened. I found a new bounce --new energy--as I jotted the thoughts down in an email to myself at work, afraid that I might forget them before I got there.
it didn't take an energy drink or a drug a self-help book, formula, or even a counseling session. . it just took time.. time for the old 'down' mood to pass away, and be replaced with an upswing and a little optimism.
Today, I wish the same energy bursts, and optimism, for you. LM

Reading about Responsibility-- and thinking about Labels

I'm trying to figure out if the Christian theologian H Richard Niebuhr book I'm reading [The Responsible Self] was ahead of his time, or whether the winds of change of the 60's just blew right over him. If only people would just be able to describe themselves and label themselves in categories that we understand.-- like put a sign around .their neck or wear a special color hat if you have some special something that you want to called . .Not just a special interest. .like red or pink or yellow ribbons.

Everyone feels they need to generalize to describe people. The media has their labels-- demographics like Generation X, Y or Boomer. .or whatever. .
Political commentaries try to pigeonhole people in 2 camps and no one really fits in them.
Theology, I suppose, is the same. Economists have their little acronyms, I've heard. and the young swingin' crowd has labels for all sorts of people in the social arena. It's no longer just guys & dolls. .I heard one the other day: cougar-- meaning, apparently, an older single woman dating a younger man. I wonder. .I wish. .
Trouble is, no one wants to be labeled by someone else.

It seems that, the only thing that really identifies us is our actions. And, in a way--that is what Niebuhr is saying. To be responsible is to respond to something that you feel loyal to, or believe in-- in his case monotheism.. .and ethics demands that we stick our necks out and walk the talk-- put our money where our mouth is; let our actions speak louder than our words.
hmmmm. What is your responsibility quotient? LM

A little more about change

The topic of change really has intrigued me for many years. As a seminarian, I explored a bit of the spiritual/theological aspects. The term metanoia presents some basic tenants that could provide any leader or political system some great lessons.
The fact that the 'penitentiary' system was built to help people turn their lives around is proof that it is possible, even though very difficult, for a person to change.
I have found research about "what you can change and what you can't" from the psychological aspect (Martin E P Seligman).
The 12-Step process has the basic 'procedures' that have been proven effective for many people, but they recognize that change is a spiritual thing.
I am convinced: Peace of mind is a goal that IS possible.
To close today, I will share this quote from one of my personal meditations, attributed to "Peace Pilgrim". .whoever that is:
Historically speaking, when human beings are faced with the choice between destruction and change, they are apt to choose change, and it's about the only thing that will make them choose change.

I have other thoughts, discoveries and feelings about change, which I will share in a future entry.
I appreciate receiving responses, also! LM

Still, I wonder--about change

There are really so many things that make me wonder. .most of them are about people and their actions or decisions or inactions. This past week I have had the pleasure of great conversations with people of like minds on the topic of change. It seems to be part of politics, personal relationships, psychology, business, technology. . life is really all about change. .

Why is it, then, that some people seem to resist the idea of change so vehemently? Why do some folks embrace change and others avoid it 'like the plague'?
I would suppose it has mostly to do with fear. .but fear of what?. .that list could be pretty short, or rather long.
I wish I didn't have to think I was just talking to myself here, and could hear the dialog from anyone out there who is reading this. LM

Green Beans & New Potatoes

There are a few annual rituals that tend to creep into my cooking habits. During gardening season--the full heat of summer--I usually cook up at least one pot (now in the crock-pot) of fresh garden green beans with small new red potatoes. The seasoning includes plenty of salt, onions, some chunks of ham, or--as in my situation today--bacon, if no ham is available--salty pork, but not too fatty. And, if I can get it, fresh dill. Today, I will use dry dill weed. The beans need to cook longer than the potatoes, so I'll add them about 45 minutes before I want to eat.

Another summer cultural sidedish, that my kids rarely eat is cucumber salad. I have modified my own recipe to make it almost a sweet-n-sour oil & vinegar dressing. This cucumber salad is simply sliced cucumbers and sliced onions, soaked in salt water, and then nearly all of that water is poured off. This softens and somewhat marinates the veggies before the dressing is added. I grew up with cream (soured from the vinegar) added shortly before it is eaten. The low German name for this is "gulga". .who knows what that means. .

when it gets cooler, we'll talk about soup and galushkies during the holidays. Any one coming to meet my parents needs to be prepared for interesting food. LM

New reading

In the mail, I received a promotional for a new magazine that looks very interesting to me. Called "Ode" -- meaning a song of joy-- it is billed as a magazine for intelligent optimists.
That category I like. it is neither age, political, nor consumer oriented. I am excited to subscribe, actually. Edited by a French man, it apparently explores many of the social and environmental challenges and questions that we face as problem-solvers in our world, and does not take it for granted that the American's have all the answers.
Perhaps you, my friends, would also like to check in to 'Ode'.
enjoy.LM

check it out

One of the cast members made a youtube 'trailer'.

you can see a 'bit' about the play Moon Over Buffalo at this link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PraSWDFLmNg

If this doesn't work, you can go to youtube.com and search for Moon Over Buffalo, and WCT's version is one of 3 current ones.
and My most famous line is featured, even tho they have billed me as "leigh" playing Ethel.

There will be a full-length video made of a performance soon, also. so, hopefully, I will be able to send that for my parents to see. LM

full moon over Buffalo

the play has now begun it's second week.
small crowd tonight, but lots of laughing .
they 'got' most of the zingers. .even tho, after 4 days off, we were not as sharp as we should be (the cast). one of our concession volunteers introduced himself as from Russell, so he figured out who I was from reading my bio.
the cast members were truly crazy tonight. I believe it may be the full moon.

it is running faster each night
the AC is now working at the theater, thank goodness; thanks to a very special volunteer who is related to one of my AGI staff members. All the board members are pleased too.
but it's still hot for the actors.

LM

Baby steps

Eleanor, the little inspirational toddler, has headed back home to Wisconsin with her parents. Her mommy arranged for a photo session, and we have some marvelous pictures of her with her 2 cousins--my 3 grandkids. I'll try to post. She had new shoes on that day, with good solid soles, and she showed off in them; took her first witnessed 'alone' steps while being photographed-- but not with a video cam.
But it was a proud moment, and set her confidence up to take more steps in the play area of the studio where there were several other toddlers walking around.
It reminds me of the quote I heard years ago by a Native American woman who was interviewing for my job as Exec. Dir. at NCCJ when I was leaving to go to seminary. She said she made it a habit to look for 'little wins' to keep her motivated to keep going during the tough times.

Why is it that that more often we see and dwell on the negatives and 'losses' in life? Does the media groom us to critique and judge every single thing? How can we remind ourselves and convince the younger generation to look for the silver lining, and 'little wins'. . .and know that they must take 'baby steps' before they can walk the road of life? Have we missed that important reminder about growing up? Why must we feel that all our accomplishments must be 'news-worthy' or measured in a raise or good grades from the teacher? Dear God. help us see the joys in life that are from you, and not man-made.
LM

words

As we wait for Eleanor to begin to 'speak' in intelligent words, I have recently had several other revelations about words:
1. how easy it is to use the words we think are easy to understand, and make assumptions that others are 'understanding' us, but communication is just not happening.
2. when trying to convey the nuances of a playwright's supreme talent, how many times those of us who attempt to memorize our part in the script fail to understand the original intent.
3. how difficult it is to communicate at all when we have not been raised with the same values and mother tongue.
4. Language alone is so inadequate; it is the body language and emotion that we add that truly make it meaningful.. .
and so, charades is not really so ridiculous. it is with such gestures and 'hints' that we can really get to the same 'word' or meaning that we are trying to pass along.

people who have lost the ability to speak can still manage to get their needs met, such as if they have had a stroke. what is most important is an empathetic listener. . someone who can really connect with the one with whom really want to relate. LM

Independence

In the play "Moon Over Buffalo" the character Ethel is a has-been actress--or just living vicariously in her actress daughter's state career. Throughout the play there are selective lyrics from Shakespeare and other plays that weave about 3 plots together. But, I am often most intrigued by reading between the lines of the character development. As the 'manager' of the dressing room, Ethel's opening lines are from Shakespeare:
. .but, to sing, to laugh, to dream; to walk in my own way; to be alone.
Free. With an eye to see things as they are.
To travel any road under the sun.

WOW. . I can relate. Ethel is pretty feisty, especially with her son-in-law--even tho she is quite hearing impaired. Being cast for this part in Community Theatre is such a perfect avocation at this time in my life. I have no attachments or evening obligations, and nights and week-ends are often rather long. Those are the times of rehearsals and performances , so it provides great stimulation for the mind, and some physical exercise as a volunteer to create the set, as well.
I'm lovin' it. life is good.
LM

Multiple passions

One day this past week I found myself with 'too much' free time. I was probably avoiding the pressures of deadlines at work, but ended up in one of my favorite places-- a bookstore. Upon leaving, the best part of the visit was when the clerk told me that I had 'saved' $51.

Yes, I spent 3 x that much. .on two books: one fiction --from the bargain table--a Stephen King novel, which I've never ever read before; and one 'self-help' book that a friend has been encouraging me to read: "The Secret". I even saw it in a movie clip last week. I think it was Sex & the City (it would have to be; that is the only movie I've seen in about a year).
I guess this is my contribution to the Bush economic stimulus package!

well. . other than 2 books, I bought 4 or 5 CDs and a few discounted items that one can never have too much of: journaling book, post-it notes & book tote bags. These were "Grammy" brand, something I'd never heard of, but I like the concept. It has musical (guitar graphic art) design and a portion of the sale goes to fund music programs in public schools. . .SO . in one visit I managed to soothe my addictive tendencies for all the things I love most: reading, writing, and music.

This should satisfy my desire for 'new' music for about 6 months or a year. I like to refresh my listening occasionally, but not too often. What music? Secret Garden, Carole King, Mannheim Steamroller (Classical Gas), instrumental Enya, and the soundtrack for the Sex & the City movie. nothing new. my favorite artists in some of their classic songs.

What do you spend your occasional free time and extra money on? LM

leadership & hunger

yesterday I was invited to be part of a panel of local non-profit leaders who are working to fight hunger in different ways. the presentation was to high school students from across the state who had entered competition and been selected to come to WSU for the Hugh OBrien Youth Leadership series.
They held a 'hunger banquet', which is a model similar to the break-outs sometimes used toward the end of NCCJ Anytown Leadership camp.
these were the 15% who got plated meals (the world's population who make more than $10,700 /year); the 35% who make between $875 & 10,700 a year. (they got beans & rice & lemonade or tea at a long table with no table covering and no plates, etc; plastic plates were used, and they had to serve themselves). The remaining 50% got rice and water, and had to sit on the floor.
then a few were moved from lower group to middle group, and vice versa, based on the precarious conditions of work availability due to weather, by using case studies. none, however, were moved because of being displaced due to war or weather disasters, which I thought was interesting.

and none of the 'privileged' were moved from their status to a lower group. Also not known was if the medical conditions of any students were considered in where they were placed (diabetes or hypoglycemia).
I also learned that the Lord's Diner, the main 'soup kitchen' in Wichita has constructed new space for a waiting area, so that people with medical conditions (especially those on lithium, she mentioned) did not have to stay out in the heat. So, they are recognizing the specific side effects and resultant behavior problems they have of the mentally ill. Wichita has a special task force on the homeless that is making changes to the services offered locally,and that is good.. .

How is this related to leadership?
well, some one has to be bold enough to either break the rules or willing to work very hard to change the rules in order for improvements to be made for those who can't speak for themselves. That is what these youth need to know, more than just having their hearts softened and being told they can change the world.
LM

Generation X, Generation Y

According to a luncheon speaker I heard today, it really IS getting harder to manage people these days-- the research says so. The man, a researcher who has also written "It's OK to be the Boss" says that younger employees need coaching and better explanations of what is expected of them, and bosses/managers who are 'hands-off' because they prefer to avoid conflict are only causing them more trouble in the end.
Well. . . ..ok. so what is his suggestion as the better way? more (at least once a week) one-on-one meetings with each employee. Honest communication with checklists, and direction as to how and when work needs to be done.
huh.
well. . .this was news-- maybe goods news-- for many of the non-profit managers attending, but it would surely be applicable to anyone who is responsible for 'managing' or leading other employees. Somehow the word management has gotten a bad name, but good, 'tougher' (not angry bullies) bosses are actually rated higher than those who assume that everyone knows what is expected of them them and they will do it-- on time/ every time.

And. .if an employee has a boss that hasn't heard of these findings, perhaps they could ask for such weekly meetings. I believe I have done that. These meetings are not the same as 'staff meetings' or team meetings. Those meetings are when everyone needs to hear the same thing. These meetings are when individual feedback and checklists for progress are the most helpful. yes-- checklists--and they can also be followed up with emails or phone calls to help the employee keep on track. That is how 'good' bosses are helping their employees succeed.

Apparently school just does not prepare people for work.
There were even stories of Generation Y parents calling the bosses of their young adult 'children' to try to mediate or intervene, or speak for. Generation X is known for the parent-less generation. Generation Y those 25 and younger, are considered "over-parented". interesting stuff. I think I'll get the book. LM

I'm OK, You're OK

Today I heard a sermon that quoted this book from the 1960's as being a major basis for the 'ills' of our contemporary society and problems in the church. It seems that preachers think this book is actually about narcissistic tendencies to accept anything and everything and claim no need for divine intervention. The comment made my neck hairs bristle, as I have heard this as a simple tactic to place blame for complex problems in a prior time in my life, indicating that my behavior to individuate and change the status quo was 'selfish'. Yes, I was defensive.

I don't believe that Dr. Harris, the author, was writing about self-centeredness when that book was written. "Knowing" yourself, and being honest with yourself--maybe. But Christians should not deny those as necessary to admitting their need for God. Transactional Analysis has its place in the history of modern psychology, and that is what he was trying to explain. If preachers were to better understand TA, they might actually see the similarities between Christ's teachings and the model of mature communication/behavior that Eric Berne's theories propose.

Both have to do with the need for a person to change in order to live a healthier life. It does not have to do with forsaking spiritual help to do so. In fact, TA can be a very effective way for some people to accomplish the 're-birth' that is explained in biblical terms. We don't have to forsake psychology to be faithful to our Christian upbringing. LM

wondering about the weather

with all the forecasting that is being funded and watched on the media. .weather seems to be big business. .and yet we can't do a dang thing about it. .except use a little common sense.. .something which it seems some people are a bit short on these days.

for all the money that is spent on 'warnings and watches' that often make people anxious about things they need not fear, it would be interesting to compare the dollars spent in weather science and coverage as a curiosity, and how many hours of productivity are really lost. case in point: how many people may have either not gone to work today, had classes cancelled, or left early because they feared the weather? How much productivity was lost today simply by people being obsessed with weather reports, and not being able to concentrate on their work?

when will we draw the line between what is reasonable and what is excessive?

those of us who have grown up in Kansas know that when it is lightning or pouring down rain, you don't go outside; but until the rain begins, you can still do your shopping, lawn mowing, and most normal things until the clouds become the warning system. If you aren't out on a lake, then you probably are going to have a chance to seek safety.
we also know that the majority of summer storms roll in at the end of the hot afternoon, and usually occur in the evening or night hours. We also know that a SE wind is usually a sign that something peculiar is blowing (or being sucked) in -- at least in the central part of Kansas and Missouri, that seems to be the norm. these are things I've learned over the years. LM

a word or two from Eleanor

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a note from Granny. ..::
Ellie was so very excited about walking today. she did't want to stop. she first had to realize she couldn't knee walk on the sidewalk or patio outside (it hurts the knees!).
so outside was the first success.
this evening, she was practically running from one end of the living room to the other with the help of granny's fingers.
she is walking a few steps when she doesn't realize she is on her own.
LM

The Joy of Networking

This past few days have provided a rejuvenation of my spirit and optimism. It seems when a person truly 'finds their vocation' work becomes rewarding--for the most part--and challenging for the balance. The people who attended a conference along with me were really able to bond and create community and willingness to act quickly. In many ways these volunteers were brought together by a spiritual urging and spurred on a similar energy. It was a rare experience and memory to be treasured. Surely we will see the fruits of this gathering within months.

The photo of the 'young peace builders' is of this group who gathered on the grounds of a sacred and peaceful place in the suburbs of Chicago. We enjoyed the evidence of God's gifts of nature, good food and hospitality from the people at University of St. Mary's on the Lake. It was a gift to us as we discussed how improve alternative giving toward the achievement of the UN Millennium Development Goals through the work of Alternative Gifts International. There is now an AGI 'Facebook' and many more plans for the future. LM

On the Road Again--Chicago, here I come!

in 24 hours I'll be headed to a few of my favorite places: Chicago. .and, on the way, the homes of my daughters. Many people I know say that they 'like' Chicago. .perhaps it is because of the foresight of the man who deemed it important to restrict the city from selling the land along the shore of Lake Michigan, and instead it is maintained as a park. Residents and tourists can bicycle or run or roller blade from the Indiana St. line to the northern suburbs of Chicago, should they choose. chicago has a reputation for being a model city for social reform, and is considered a bastian of the Democratic party.
It also has the reputation of being the education center for more 'seminarians' than any other place than Rome/the Vatican. There are more than 10 schools of theology in the Chicago area. Perhaps that is another reason why people 'like' Chicago. the percentage of folk who are striving for civility and conflict resolution through the faith traditions are slightly higher there.
I, for one, would hope that is the case, and encourage you to visit there. LM

Living in Tornado Alley

Some people can't imagine the anxiety of living in Kansas during tornado season. For us, we would could not imagine living with the anxiety of earthquakes. We have warning systems and weather forecasting, meteorology specialties with our local TV stations, storm spotters, and most children are taught tornado safety from when they are pre-schoolers.

Most home owners have insurance that will cover the hail and wind damage that goes along with these storms, and usually the damage is somewhat isolated, so that there are many more families and volunteers to help with the clean-up than there are people directly affected. These natural disasters often bring out the best in people and it may be why Midwesterners, many who have come from sturdy, hard-working farm families also realize what 'grace' is when their lives have been spared, even though they might lose much of their belongings. At such times, what rises from the ashes, like a phoenix, is better than what existed before.

In 1991 and again in 1999, tornadoes destroyed significant portions of the Wichita suburb of Haysville, KS. In 1991, the town's mayor quit his full-time job as the manager of a Target store to help the community rebuild. The result was a stronger community with improved pride. That mayor is now a popular country commissioner, and can share what he learned through the experience. A similar story may come from the May 2007 Greensburg KS tornado-- and each community that suffers through spring storms. It is not just a story of the losses, but how people and communities can be transformed through hardship and coming together to learn how to work together, improve their lives and build a new future. A leader who rises to the occasion to bolster people's faith and perseverance will be keys to the story when it is retold to future generations. LM

How valuable is time?

We've all heard about the calculations of a mother's salary, if she were paid for the various tasks she performs. Near Mother's day, I heard a figure over $110K, which even included psychologist/counselor! I thought that was good.. . . however, those of us who work use our employer's calculation of what we are worth, and that seems to usually be calculated on supply and demand; maybe some on amount of technical study and intelligence. It mystifies me, tho, how salespeople can still draw some exceptionally high salaries--rivaling CEO's. .certainly exceeding my non-profit executive salary.

However, when we choose to take time off, and we are paid the same rate of pay for those vacation days, why do so many people tend to try to cram so much in to their personal hours that they would not do likewise at the office.
vacations, for instance. . .more and more people choose to 'fly'. .to save time-- so they can avoid taking too many vacation days for travel time.

Me, even when gas is at an all time high, I plan to drive this vacation, because it is worth it to me spending an extra day and half on the road, enjoying the view of nature --I may even take some less-traveled by-ways, rather than having to experience the aggravation of airport delays, paying high parking fees, waiting in line, dealing with rude and angry people, and security checks peering into the luggage of people who would no more be potential terrorists than Bugs Bunny.. . I'll save that for another blog. LM

My intuition

I'm feeling pretty good about the timing of my decision to buy the Versa. With the price of gas continuing to climb, I should soon be able to save about as much money in 2 or 3 months to make my car payment (in comparison to my previous car).
I would suspect that the new car makers are giving more and more rebates now . LM

To trust or suspect

At work, the need for trust is so essential.
Of course, that also applies to personal relationships, but today I'm reflecting on the relationship of supervisor to employee. It seems to be much a part of intuition to feel that a person can't be trusted. Sometimes it is very difficult to determine what is fact, and what is feeling.

Is it more important in a large organization or small?

When does caution become paranoia?

What can be done to establish trust or confirm its absence?

Why can't this wisdom be built into us like other things we are taught?

How significant a problem is this?

Is it a valid basis for dismissal?
These are things I wonder about.
LM

from Creation to doctrine

It was interesting to note in today's worship that we started at the beginning of the OT. Creation story. .going back to the basics-- from Genesis 1. that we should be reminded that WE humans had nothing to do with it.

However, the "church" (Christianity--as an institution) which is recognized as beginning a mere 2000 years ago, may be a major factor in how life has become so complicated. The priest's simple message reminded us in the Trinity Sunday homily that it took 300 years for the early Christian leaders to try to define in words something that is mainly indefinable. This juncture was between the Hebrew traditions and the Jews' understanding of 'G_D', as opposed to the urge to explain or re-interpret an understanding of God based on Jesus' life and teachings.
thus we have church 'doctrine': The Nicene creed, which is still used today. Trying to define Pentecost. . and they invented 'the Trinity.'
.. man's attempts to put spiritual faith and belief and relationships into words. or as he said: trying to balance faith and reason.
A difficult task. because---
faith without reason become fanaticism.
reason without faith becomes tyranny.
those were his words, and worth sharing, I feel. I hope I did them justice. Fr. Bob Hutchinson is a humble and wise servant. I like him, and the people at St. Bart's Episcopal enough to go again.
Maybe I have found a church that fits me again. I hope so.
It has come at another key point in my pilgrimage. New job/role in my career; new church family.

I wish for each of you to find a place to worship or find church family where you feel you 'fit'.
Blessings & Peace. LM

For the rest of your life

Listening to 'Chicago' singing some old songs written/sung by people who think that love (or other things) will never change-- if it is good or loyal or 'right'. At last that is what I have assumed was meant by the love song lyrics such as "Say you'll love me for the rest of my life".

However, more than 50% of couples have learned that it doesn't work that way. Tomorrow would have been a 39th anniversary of a couple from which three fantastic children were conceived. They have grown to make their parents proud. but those parents are no longer together. They couldn't make the promise to stick to love each other for the rest of their lives.

I wonder: can any of us count on any thing remaining the same as it is in any one minute/hour/day/year in time?
Life and the world is dynamic--ever-changing. .

jobs are not guaranteed. Unions can't do it. the Governments can't either.
health is not guaranteed. we all know someone who have been struck with illness 'before their time'. . .what IS 'their/our time' ?
lifestyle is not guaranteed.. . look at all the home foreclosures & big trucks for sale on the street corners.
marriages. . .and love-- ditto; you get the gist.

Most of what we consider our security is never to be taken for granted. And I'm not just talking about national security/love of country. and so, in order for something to come close to lasting 'for the rest of my life'. .we have to work hard to keep it alive. .grow & change & learn new stuff & be ready to reduce/reuse/recycle.

BUT. . I wish for you all. that you will know a love that can last for the rest of your life.

When you understand what real love and respect is really all about, it will. LM

Coming on May 16

There will be an informal installation of the new President-Elect of AGI. .
staff meeting/pot-luck on May 15.

A press release will be sent out announcing that May 16th is the first official day that Lea McCloud (guess it's too late to change my name) will become the Second President of Alternative Gifts International [Alternative Gift Markets, Inc.]
Thank you very much. .(applause/curtsy/bow/ applause)
LM

Which is harder?

Everyone knows the agony of waiting. .
waiting in the grocery line. .
when being put on hold for the next customer service representative. ..
waiting for water to boil;
nail polish to dry;
waiting for a child to be born;
waiting for the frail/elderly/sick to die;
the soil to dry out after big rains/floods;
waiting for the refund check;
the rain to come when it is blazing hot. .
waiting for each season to change, if we are fortunate to live in a 4-seasons climate.

Some things are about nature.
Some things we wait on --or for-- are about things in the control of people:
governmental decisions
school grades
job interviews. .

so, is the waiting harder than what comes after the wait?
How many times are our expectations not met even after we have waited for what seemed like 'too long.'
think about it?
what is your reaction to waiting?
we should all know by adulthood that waiting is part of life-- a necessary part.
children and adults who demand instant gratification have missed something in their development.
children/people who can not deal with waiting, according to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, and Social Intelligence. . lack the brain chemicals and function to accept delayed gratification. A deficit in that area, is often accompanied by impulsiveness and explosive anger-- mental illness; a psychiatric disorder, [by this lay-person's definition].

In a recent Bible Study group I attended, we were exploring the story of Jesus' healing of the demoniacs. The discussion leader seemed to focus on the where and why Jesus drove the demons into a herd of pigs. Analysis of the political motivation behind the location, and the interpretation of why the people were upset that the pigs were destroyed. It was his contention that they were upset because Jesus had just messed up the stability of the local economy. How dare him!

Well, as you might guess, I chose to pose the rhetorical questions: Can we imagine why the demoniacs were confused, but also excited about being healed? Why did Jesus really tell them not to go tell the townspeople about their healing?
do people with a mental illness really expect to be healed? and if they were healed, what would their reaction be?
One woman said: well, you can bet if I were healed of my diabetes, I would sure be ready to tell all my friends about it! that was echoed by a woman with a heart problem. Isn't it natural to want to share good news with someone else?

so. .as medical practitioners. .and science people. .. what would have to be proven to know that a person was 'healed'?
and which is harder. .waiting. .or knowing what to do after the news we've been awaiting? LM

Granpa's newest story

Today at the dinner table we heard a fresh story from Granpa's childhood. Many times, there are re-runs, but recently, we are hearing about a few details that he has never shared before. The topic today was plowing and meal time.

It seems he was allowed to sit on the plow and be in charge of the team of horses during planting season-- 6 in all (they had 7 total, in case they needed a spare), when he was as young as 8 or 9.
He implied that many people used 4 horses, but they had 6, for some reason. Anyway, the story was how the horses would always know when it was noon time and when to head for the barn.

They got about 2 hours of rest for 'lunch'.. .then went back out. One reason this topic came up was that we were talking about clocks, telling time and watches. He probably didn't have a watch as a boy, but he mentioned that he had a good pocket watch when he 'worked' ( in the oil fields, apparently).. .and later, he went through several Timex watches, Granma added.

Granma prompted him that he had been kicked by a horse as a boy. . what was the story behind that, we asked?. . he was trying to pick cockelburs out his tail, and he didn't like that, so the horse gave him a gent kick, and he went flying across the barn and hit the wall!
LM

Mom's Day

I wonder how often we offend women who are NOT moms by making the blanket 'Happy Mom's Day' to all women?
I know that not being married, or not able to conceive or bear a child can be a heavy burden for many women, and perhaps many of us who are moms, take that for granted--especially if getting pregnant was not a problem for us.

Today, 2008 Mom's Day, was not too unique of one. . even though I must be thankful for the fact that my mom is 91, and relatively healthy, still able to cook and care for herself and my dad in their home. However, she did admit to me that she is 'always tired, now.' Perhaps she is always in pain, too, but she has never really 'known' or acknowledged pain.

As hard as they try not to, my parents are still amassing 'things'.. .Growing up in the Depression, and being in an uneducated poor family, Mom is not one to care to 'live the simple life'. .like some people in the generation slightly younger than her, as well as a few in the 'boomer' category like me. She admits that she doesn't know how or where to start to sort through the things that she and Dad have gathered in 70 years of marriage.. ."that will be you & your sister's job'. .she says with a smile. We often wonder together if her grandchildren or great grandchildren would want any of the stuff. . what value will it have?
As usual, of course, she encouraged each of us at the table (who had already overeaten) to 'have some more'. . there is still more ham, potatoes. .etc. etc.

LM

rain, rain. .go away

Mother's Day is coming up, and it gives me pause to think about being a mom.
I think of my mom (91 years) still married to my 99 year-old dad. my ex- mom in law- a widow; my daughter in law, and my daughter. .
my early days as a mom were in the 70's when the 'liberated woman' was coming on the scene. I did want to work, and it was a problem in our marriage. Over the years, my desire to have a life of my own, as well as be a mom didn't seem to present as much of a problem to my children as to my husband.
Rainy days. .just make me think about things. .being 'trapped' inside. .
Cabin fever. .things I know that young mothers still suffer, whether they work or not.
men will never really understand what is unique about being a mother. .

but we moms must stick together, and recognize the importance of supporting each other-- the older of the younger. .and the necessity of social networks while children are growing up.
Hopefully, as we become even better educated we will not lose the innate wisdom that only women can pass on to younger women, and mothers to daughters. Sisterhood is important! don't lose those connections.
LM

Office mates

Sometimes I'm really grateful for special people that there are to share your life at work. Of course, there are always one or two can make your life miserable, but in the bigger scheme of things, today, I want to recognize some really great people I work with.
I will post their photos with names: Robin, Lynette & Ellie. Today's blog post is written in their honor. They are keeping me sane. Thanks, friends! LM

a Saturday diversion

Well, the 'therapy' part of the last post was to say this:
by spending time with grandkids today, I was able to get my mind off the events of yesterday (a job interview, with uncertain outcome). .and actually not think about it at all. Without these activities, no doubt, I would have spent more hours 'brooding' than doing something productive.
therefore-- today, time with Drew & Annalee today was therapeutic for me, and also gave their parents the freedom from worry about getting their volunteer duties done with the soccer league, when the children were not involved.
It was good for everyone! and no competition involved. I like that. LM

Grandkid 'therapy'

I'm not sure if is because the grandkids are getting older, or because I'm getting older, but I today i was able to enjoy time with Drew and Annalee more than some previous times. Perhaps it was because each of us got to choose to do something we liked to do in the 5 hours we spent together, and no one felt cheated.
We shopped a little; played on playground equipment a little; ate a little; planted flowers a little; and talked a little. there was a little computer time and reading in there for one party, but not too much. A good balance. Hopefully we can remember this in the future and manage to do it more often. Why was it different?
Several people were not living their schedules according to someone elses game of activity that was theirs alone, and the others were only spectators. Each person had a say in it.
When children are in organized sports with so much time required, it seems that the stress may outweigh the benefit for some families-- overall.
LM

Office brain-storming

I love what happens when several people's ideas get thrown together on a project!

Today we discussed how to make some improvements to the Market materials that we offer to churches and schools about the AGI projects.. .The synergy was great! We had a printer there to explain how some things are printed, the size of paper they begin with, etc.

We have a new intern from WSU who is majoring in graphic art. .and he is a great listener, and shares his ideas later. With several chattering women, a couple silent Asians, it is something to behold. We now range in age from 20 to 80. We have a new Sr. Worker who is a ornery as I am. her name is Eleanor. . a former technical illustrator. we have lots of fun.
LM

About Vocations/Calling

I'm starting a new book by Thomas Moore (author of NYTimes Bestseller 'Care of the Soul').
It is called A Life at Work.
Many of the things he writes about, I have thought about over the years, but it would be ideal for younger people or middle aged (maybe I am that now) who are still feeling like they 'don't know what they want to do when they grow up.'. .in fact he uses that and puts it in context, using examples from his counseling practice--working with people who are sick, addicted, depressed, or angry/unhappy about various things, and don't realize that it may involve their work.

This is interesting to me also because whenever my ex-husband and I would come to the point of unresolvable conflict and separation (3-4 times over the 28 year marriage), we'd go to counseling, he would claim that the problem was his job, and then he would change jobs and things would be okay for while, but then the cycle would repeat itself.
Moore suggests that often deep personal reflection about career choices and natural talents or desires is necessary to reveal the underlying cause for the unhappiness/illness, and then being flexible and willing to change.

He also suggests that periodic changing of careers is not bad, and is often the case of multi-talented people who --like him-- end up in counseling or advising roles with others in their later years. Moore began with intentions of being a priest, but dropped out of seminary (in his words because he was not willing to work in the 'conservative' parish atmosphere, knowing what 'liberal' theology & philosophy he had learned in seminary). He studied with the archetypal psychology folk (Hillman, a student of Jung), and now also considers himself a writer.

It is an easy read, and would be a good book for anyone who is feeling frustrated about their life, future, and struggling with depression about their job, or the judgments of others who see 'success' as having mainly to do with salaries and prestige.
Some people don't have to choose; they can have both
LM

God Thing or Coincidence?

This morning I had nothing scheduled, so I am a bit amazed at how a few things came together.
1) for months, I've collecting unwanted clothes and trying to determine the best place to drop them for someone else's use. My choices are a. to drop them at the closest DAV (DisAbled Veterans) Thrift store-- most convenient, but they re-sell. b. Find the time to sort them and take some to a Professional Women's re-sale or United Methodist Urban Ministries Clothes Closet-- also a hassle to find when they are open. c. I've been reading in the Good Shepherd Episcopal Church's newsletter about a sister church here in Wichita (close to my house) that gives away clothes, and they especially need larger women's sizes--which I have some of from the girls.. .But--again, when to find someone there to accept them?

Earlier this week, I put them all in my car's backseat, determined to drop them somewhere. Today, I went by the St. Bartholew Episcopal (St. Bart's) on S. Meridian and saw a number of cars there. so I stopped. they were glad to take them, and in the process I was able to share my theological opinion (somewhat invited) about a dilemma that I perceived they may be having: getting people in their neighborhood to 'join' an Episcopal church.. .They were having a retreat of their vestry members (leadership). . One younger woman just hugged me, and said this is definitely a 'god thing'. .that you came by today. She had been feeling similar to what I was talking about. . .and so I encouraged her to share her real feelings in the meeting-- as the Spirit was working to prompt her to bring out the truth and etc. etc. .
Plus, now I may feel more comfy visiting there myself.
1b) It was about 6 years ago this month that I visited Good Shepherd Episcopal (at the suggestion of a friend via email) and ended up getting a job within the following month--Christian Ed Director. Never had I been active or connected to an Episcopal Church, other than visiting one a couple times while in seminary.

2). .a young male waiter at the restaurant/bar (Larkspur) I've gone to several times recently for Happy Hour was in the grocery store. He had shared with me during Happy Hour time that he had been going through a 'nasty divorce'. .and I was again in a listening 'chaplain' mode.. Today he was in the grocery store aisle as I was shopping, and we both remembered each other. He said he was going to get 'the girls' later today-- and had the week-end off (after working a long week). .so that was his news. . Mine-- I didn't figure he'd relate, so I didn't even bother to share--just gave him a little advice about not expecting children ages 3 & 8 to know what they'd want to eat if he just asked. We agreed that he would have been better off just bringing them. .

so. .another thought-provoking event (for me). I had never before really expressed or read of the idea that children may not have the ability to project or 'plan' what they desire/want to eat, without seeing it. commercials on TV, radio, or driving by a restaurant would prompt their decision, but doubtful their stomachs or brains would reason what they want. .
what do you think?. .what is your experience? children may not be as picky as we make them.

I remember that we thought Eleanor should have a variety, because she'd get tired of eating the same thing all the time (as we do). .when she was first eating baby food.. .
in the end, I think she would have been willing to eat a constant diet of sweet potatoes, if that is all we had ..
of course, that would not be balanced, but heck-- food is food, if it satisfies a baby's hunger. . .and the same probably applies for anyone that is hungty. Rice or beans. .or fish-- everyday of the week is okay if you are hungry and that is all there is to eat. Perhaps--Only mothers think that they must be creative and have an obligation to fix some kind of a variety. Maybe we are bored of preparing the same-o-same -0. .
Just some thoughts.
LM

Spring is for ???

Each year I wonder if nature is really more prolific than the last, or if I'm just noticing it more. Here in Wichita, every kind of blooming tree is in bloom at the same time, and the ones that don't bloom are turning green also. The tulips are near perfect. There has been no hail or high winds to make things look ragged, like some years. It is near picture perfect. and so. . .if it doesn't storm tonight perhaps I should go out tomorrow and get some pictures. I have nothing better to do. .might stop at the Farm and Art Market also. .

Redbuds and lilacs and crabapples and pear trees. Bright pink crepe mytrles. Flowering red quince along the highways. Spring is so important to remind us that no dark night (or winter) lasts forever. Just as the moon rises each night, and the sun comes up. . so too the trees and bugs and birds return.
The wallpaper border I chose for my living room has butterflies and bulbs and flowers. .
there is a simple and beautiful contemporary church ballad: in the bulb there is a flower, in the seed an apple tree .
and yet, sadly, in many places around this world there are no trees due to deforestation. This is something I am just learning about in my work. And people are actually going without enough food to eat. It is difficult to imagine what life would be without an education or being able to read or write.
I spent about a week in Haiti last summer. Although the area I visited was not the slum of Port au Prince, the people still have to walk blocks to the community water spigot along side the road, and often wash their clothes (an extra set or 2) right there--probably without soap. They always appear to be very clean. I can't say what really made the strongest impression me, except for the fact that even where the people were bathing and washing their clothes in the polluted river near where it emptied into the bay, there was nothing that smelled bad. In the heat of summer, people did not seem to perspire or have body odor. And yet, I did not smell strong smells of nature either. as I recollect that important week in my life, there are many things to make me think. . This week-end I will be polishing and submitting my resume' and letter of introduction to the board of directors, nearly 2 years after I first applied for the job of President and was not selected. Now they have invited me to apply again. Life is good. LM

The Value of Venting -- to friends

At lunch yesterday I was apologizing to friends who work in another non-profit about how pitiful some of my attitudes are at times about my work-- because I really am passionate about the work---but a few people (or even just one, sometimes) can sour that experience for a day, or a week. .or make your life miserable for about a month. . But I can't imagine any other work place I'd rather be.

You can't imagine how good I felt when one wise older woman said: that's what venting is for!. .You've gotta have friends to vent to, if not we'd just explode!. .. we laughed. .

yes. . and we have to laugh at ourselves too. . I've found that is what happy hours should really be all about. . not just to bitch and be angry about work. . .but to get past that. .and forget it, so that the next day you can go back in and begin all over again.
If you don't imbibe. .then at least find some friends that you can have a different kind of happy hour with. . . do what you enjoy doing most. . .a book review (I have a good friend that invites me to that occasionally). . a concert. .or a play.

my new-found volunteer role in the Wichita Community Theatre has already proven to be a good 'outlet' also.. .more on that another day/blog.
thanks for listening/reading. LM

I can't believe I wrote that whole thing. .

as the old commercial goes: I can't believe I ATE the whole thing. .
I really went off last night. . but that's what this blog is all about. . . expressing my thoughts and feelings on things. .even tho they may not be really well organized or rational at the time. .they are to 'make you think'. .just as I was thinking about something--perhaps from a new perspective-- and invite you to think, and comment if you like.
I don't care if you don't agree with me. . but I would like to hear from you--either way.
my purpose is not to begin a debate. .but perhaps a dialogue or discussion. .
today, I actually might write something quite different about the same event-- looking at it from another POV.

Legislating Morality

I borrow this title from my days of diversity training. It was coins to convey that we can't make laws that will magically change people into creatures who want to treat others fairly. As the 'Equal Opportunity Employer' dilemma continues to rage, and people try to use the courts to seek 'justice'. .when fairness just can't be meted out in a judicial decree. Justice is as simple as how we treat people-- and if we would treat them the same if we stop and try to feel their pain.

As a mother of 3, and one who would be considered liberal by many people (something that was partly the cause of my decision to divorce after 28 years), it grieves me to see the media coverage of the Texas 'polyamist sect' that has drawn so much attention in recent weeks. I just spent 30 minutes viewing the video on Yahoo!, and seeing the same captions repeated over and over. The media is mystified and enamored with the appearance of the natural-looking women in their ankle-length dresses, long braided hair, and practical shoes. no make-up, and no jewelry, but they somehow don't look 'normal' ---- or natural. The men, on the other hand, have no such other-worldly characteristics. Why do they not set themselves apart in the way THEY dress or wear their hair? They could be wearing all black, or kilts, or priestly robes, sandals & sackcloth--or stove-pipe hats or something to set them apart. . Why do they choose to blend into the society? Is it the women's decision or the men's expectation that the women don't cut their hair or even let their wrists show?

Who can imagine gardening in a dress?

I wonder how different these people are from the Amish and Mennonites who live in central Kansas and Pennsylvania. Many choose to home-school their children, remain self-sufficient on their farms, raise larger families than the US average and consider their religious preference their right under the American Constitution.

OR, what if we were to round up the children who are legitimate victims of abusive urban homes, remove them to shelters and herd and parade their parents in front of the TV cams as they were getting required DNA tests?. .who came up with that decision. .and why?. what will the state do with or for them once their determine their parentage?

I am the first person to stand up and say that 'abuse' must be named and corrected, in order for later generations not to repeat the cycle. I have been an advocate for victims' rights for years-- but right now I identify most strongly with the mothers whose children have been torn from their sides. The majority of the parents were most likely people with good intentions seeking the safety and security of a group of people who already felt victims of the current society.
Are they thinking people? what is their average education and IQ? Do they hold jobs in the outside world to support the YFZ Ranch?

How does one explain to so many children that their parents commited a crime. .and that is why they were born? How will psychologists be able to trace the long-term effects of an over-zealous police state? Is this just another symptom of facism?. . when will we learn that the 'laws' are not protecting the innocent, and they are not representing the wisdom of the prophets?
I will not proof-text as many doomsday evangelists are no-doubt doing. . but how can we see the will of God or the work of the Holy Spirit in such activity? LM

Hanging planters

I have been pricing hanging planters since the week-end; since planting flowers in the ground with the renter's dogs Brewster & Jasmine is not a practical idea, I'll enjoy blooms now, and hopefully I can choose well so that they will stay healthy throughout the summer.

At the grocery store today, I saw low-priced baskets (lower than Ace Hardware) of something that looks like a fine petaled mum. .I thought mums were fall flowers!. .the leaves, tho, are not mum leaves. .it must be some kind of daisy that spreads..the flowers were a nice pink, or yellow.
anyway. .
since I don't want to talk about work all the time. . this is my current quest.. . suitable flowers.

Now. .I'm off to use a coupon at ACE hardware, and then I'll have enough money left over to buy the different one at Dillons too!
LM

Change is good

My kids know that I've always embraced change--much more than the average person, I'd say.. .from re-arranging the furniture, to seeing the opportunities of new jobs, of moving to new places. Taking risks and learning or trying new approaches (not necessarily into bungee jumping type 'different' risk-taking tho). .
This year, I have had to resist the 'change is good' attitude a bit; I have remained in a job that I might have previously left due to the conflict--not due to the great pay and benefits, but I guess because I felt there might be long-term value in staying. Today, I had the opportunity to make my case to assume the leadership role, as a result of the default of the board's search process for a new president.. .I have done a considerable re-assessment, and don't know what the future will bring but I will definitely be an advocate for change.
however, earlier this spring, I thought that changing my living situation might be the right thing to do. Since I am experiencing empty nest, I explored the fleeting thought of moving to an apartment. However, after some assessment about WHY I was wanting to do that, I reconsidered. So, I remain a home owner, and landlord--for now.
Haven't had the desire to to back to school. But an eventual move to Mexico, and living as an ex-pat has seemed appealing at times.
I think I'll try the Community Theatre 'therapy' approach first. If that doesn't satisfy my desire for something new. .who knows what I'll try next?
LM

. . .Later that evening

perhaps you noticed that the earlier post was done at 3:40 a.m.. .It's been one of those days. wake up in the middle of the night with so many things going through your head that you can't sleep. .so. .get up; coffee; early to office. .coffee;. .ideas. .action. ..caffeine; appointments. .still many good ideas. Will I ever calm down?. .
still good things happening all day. . and a happy hour planned with co-worker.
what a great time at my favorite restaurant in Old Town-- Larkspur, where they have a 79-year old pianist who plays everything from classics to Gershwin (my request). . other musicals. .He claims to have made his living in NY accompanying auditions, etc.. . and playing even in Juneau AK. .the service tonight was absolutely great!. . a waiter with a great personality. It was the perfect end to a pretty darn good day.. . and now. . I hope I can sleep all night long. . for a day with only one appointment on the calendar-- but a significant one.
more about that tomorrow evening. LM

Different thinking patterns

Up earlier than usual, with plenty on my mind. For a small non-profit office, sometimes opportunities come quickly, and it seems they are urgent, and must be acted on without delay. But working with a volunteer board of directors can often become problematic, if they :
1) are in a power struggle
2) try to avoid conflict
3) don't have enough information
4) don't realize the responsibility they have signed on to (in addition to their own jobs)
5) act too much out of emotion, or reason. ..without a good balance
6) are patriarchial and don't understand how women or people of color think --often indirectly, or in circular; most men & white business professionals are linear thinkers. .

how to strike a balance. .without having to give them a patronizing lesson in gender differences--or different learning/thinking styled-- that is the challenge.

I learned this over the years, even by watching my children; they are mostly linear thinkers; science & engineering majors.. .the world of science reasons completely opposite from the social/human relations/ liberal arts???

Of course, this same issue crops up in every classroom, when a student feels that the teacher 'doesn't understand them'. .or doesn't listen to them.. .If empathy or understanding is not there, but only expectations of doing it the way the teacher wants. .then there will be a disconnect. It should be the responsibility of the more mature person to be empathetic.. .
Daniel Goleman's books on Emotional Intelligence and later Social Intelligence explain both the anecdotal, rational and brain chemistry research that is behind how and why children can develop the important characteristic (or do not) of empathy.. .
In my opinion, it could be a major factor in teaching conflict resolution and violence prevention. In fact, I noticed that an organization in Canada recently got a grant for teaching Empathy. .that has been a premise that I have pondered on since the late 1990's when I was in seminary.. .
more to come. .stay tuned.

Tuesday, at the office

Today at work I learned that Wichita State has an excellent reputation for the Co-operative Education/Intern program they have built. I was happy to claim that Darrin, my son now 37, was a beneficiary of that program, and is still in the company that he interned with as an aeronautical engineering student. A couple 'small world' stories came about today also. The WSU employee who sat on my left was the head of the computer science department, and I was able to tell him that my son-in-law is now living & working in Wisconsin.. .He said that Chris was famous in their department--one of their 'best' students. . very bright...... so now we know.

Our new intern from WSU, Eric, began work today, and created his first piece of graphic art. He tells me that the first thing they say is important to learn is to not be too sensitive to criticism (about one's work). . a wise young man. .to have retained that of all the lessons he has learned .. .
I'm impressed.

My 80-year old Sr. Work Experience worker, Eleanor Parsons, enjoyed knowing that I also have the email address of her former pastor & wife who she had lost touch with. Seems that our org-- Alternative Gifts Intl.-- is one of the favorites of that former pastor.. .

US Income Tax day

Last evening I received an email from a friend comparing the 1999 (Clinton years) tax rates with the current tax. .so it is obvious that the Bush /republicans are all about cutting taxes. . What should probably be compared now is the national deficit from 1999 to now, and how much difference our few thousand dollars per family would make a dent in that.
What have we given up or lost in the process? Maybe it's too soon to tell. .but in another bit of 'news' I heard this morning on NPR -- a bit more humorous-- or perhaps they relate-- was the story of how the investment behaviors of traders have to do with testosterone levels.-- risk-taking, aggression.
The summary: it would be better --more balanced-- if there were more women and older men in the stock market!
I like that.
Once I figure out how put such links in this blog, I will share such stories with all of you--so you can read them too.
LM

An interesting Monday at the office

Ever have one of those days when you just think something (good). .and it happens?
For me, I like to think that is proof that I am 'in tune with the Universe'. .

With the non-profit office being in transition (boy are there stories galore from the past year) after the 80-year old founder plans to retire-- many possibilities exist for future staffing & programming. Plans are being made for a conference in Chicago of college coordinators who have been planners for Alternative Gift Markets, the events where about 70% of the funds we raise is generated.
Mid April is also the time when we are in the important stages of formatting (writing & layout) the catalog, which also provides the text for the website.
This evening was a meeting with one board member and the interim president.
I don't have photos that are nearly as interesting as the children who are on these cute blogs, but this my work is also what helps make the world turn (and I do love to see the pictures of my own granddaughter on her mom & dad's blog).
again. .
see www.alternativegifts.org

In the beginning

Every story has to have a beginning. .a context.
I've always said that I wanted to write a book. perhaps this will be the practice I need to do so. I currently do journal, and have several regular email friends, as well as family communication, since my daughters are no longer living in nearby.

And,. .so. . .Spring is a time for new beginnings. .so why not a new blog?

hopefully I can keep this as a daily communication with new-found friends, as well as family.
LM