It seems to me that once a person chooses to divorce, they may find themselves losing touch with the family traditions. .or is it perhaps a choice to do so? If I had to categorize myself, I would probably not use the word 'traditional.'. .In fact, as a change-agent, of sorts, I may be the bane of traditionalists.. .I like change. .I like learning and doing different things and differently. Sometimes I wonder if my family thinks badly of me for that.
To me, traditions sometimes equal 'boring', even emotionally painful .but I do try very hard to respect other peoples' need for honoring traditions. Some traditions are very good. .especially to provide feelings of security for children.
On the other hand, hearing the phrase 'but, we always do/ have done it that way!'. .just makes me cringe-- especially in a church or volunteer setting. It is also the basis for many a good sit-com stereotype of grandparents or in-laws. Being tied to tradition, just for the sake of tradition could be what keeps our world from moving toward peace; it can certainly delay conflict resolution. sometimes it is just plain neurotic!
so. . this Christmas is proving to be another example of non-tradition. no tree. no Christmas Eve worship, no dinner with the family. It can wait. That is not simply due to divorce. It is a part of honoring my married childrens' decisions about how they want to (or choose to) spend their holidays. I wonder how many people feel that they must do the family 'traditional' thing, even though they don't enjoy them any longer? Perhaps it is time to 'let go' of the obligations that were implied by well-meaning parents and allow each person and new couple find their own traditions. I hope that is not seen as a bad thing. LM
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I am still thinking
that I should not write/publish what I'm really thinking. perhaps it is paranoia. maybe it's 'better judgment'. .but MAYBE. .somehow, some things are better left unsaid . .unpublished . .at some times.
this is a strange new thought for someone has often believed her calling was that to be a change-agent/prophetic voice/advocate for the oppressed.
Have I been beat down by the system?. .is this how the historic oppressive systems kept the well-educated people 'in their place'? Fear to speak out, to be seen as 'crazy' or obsessive or irrational or over-emotional. Is the 'fire in my belly' just an ulcer that has been caused by caring too much about the principles of honesty and reason and believing in possibility.
I have been referred to the book: The Innovator's Dilemma. perhaps there will be some answers there. Stand by. I'll report back.
this is a strange new thought for someone has often believed her calling was that to be a change-agent/prophetic voice/advocate for the oppressed.
Have I been beat down by the system?. .is this how the historic oppressive systems kept the well-educated people 'in their place'? Fear to speak out, to be seen as 'crazy' or obsessive or irrational or over-emotional. Is the 'fire in my belly' just an ulcer that has been caused by caring too much about the principles of honesty and reason and believing in possibility.
I have been referred to the book: The Innovator's Dilemma. perhaps there will be some answers there. Stand by. I'll report back.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
It's all in the timing
I really do believe that, and as I get nearer to my ability to retire, I have been realizing that God's timing is really so much more reliable than when I try to make things happen. Case in point: I've been looking for a house to buy for at least 6 months.. .for months we thought we wanted to remain in the neighborhood where I now rent. However, it is a quaint place with houses that date back to the 1920's. .now, after looking at dozens, I have concluded that I really don't have the knowledge or ability to keep one of these older homes up.. .so, in another neighborhood, built in the 60's, with a school for Ellie nearby, and plenty of shopping within walking distance, a house was found to meet our expectations.. .so. now, we are in the waiting period to the 'closing date' about Dec. 18.
it will be a house large enough to have 4 generations, if we wanted; large garden, so we will be forced to grow our own veggies, and a nice yard for Ellie and other children to play in.
I am amazing myself realizing that I am becoming the grandmother I never expected to be. Three-year-old Eleanor has changed my entire outlook on life. It will be precious to watch her grow up, like my parents did not get to do with my children. We are fortunate that they are still around to see their great- and great-great grandchildren, at the time we were destined to follow the road to find a job in the city, and leave the parents in the small towns of our childhood.
that is common among so many baby-boomers I know. . now some are returning to their roots, and others are still searching for the search for happiness in financial success that that illusive 'good job' promises.
And so. .as I speak of timing, I am reflecting on timing in various ways. .
decisions, for one.
some of them are risky. .ones that others can not see as rational. .some people may be envious that I have a family that would want to reside in a 3-generation household by choice. It does not seem so common around here. But, we know that some of the pioneer families of old raised several generations in one house-- but perhaps not by choice. I believe there will be many advantages to this decision. financial, for one. It seems that sharing the costs of a household is a better way to use our resources than each family feeling they must have complete privacy. I've found that such privacy also comes with isolation and even loneliness. .so, in a few years, if I decide this was not the best decision, there will still be options for us.
in the meantime, we intend to leave the house we are buying 'better than we found it., The house needs a family that can give it some TLC, and we do have that to offer. LM
it will be a house large enough to have 4 generations, if we wanted; large garden, so we will be forced to grow our own veggies, and a nice yard for Ellie and other children to play in.
I am amazing myself realizing that I am becoming the grandmother I never expected to be. Three-year-old Eleanor has changed my entire outlook on life. It will be precious to watch her grow up, like my parents did not get to do with my children. We are fortunate that they are still around to see their great- and great-great grandchildren, at the time we were destined to follow the road to find a job in the city, and leave the parents in the small towns of our childhood.
that is common among so many baby-boomers I know. . now some are returning to their roots, and others are still searching for the search for happiness in financial success that that illusive 'good job' promises.
And so. .as I speak of timing, I am reflecting on timing in various ways. .
decisions, for one.
some of them are risky. .ones that others can not see as rational. .some people may be envious that I have a family that would want to reside in a 3-generation household by choice. It does not seem so common around here. But, we know that some of the pioneer families of old raised several generations in one house-- but perhaps not by choice. I believe there will be many advantages to this decision. financial, for one. It seems that sharing the costs of a household is a better way to use our resources than each family feeling they must have complete privacy. I've found that such privacy also comes with isolation and even loneliness. .so, in a few years, if I decide this was not the best decision, there will still be options for us.
in the meantime, we intend to leave the house we are buying 'better than we found it., The house needs a family that can give it some TLC, and we do have that to offer. LM
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Facing financial uncertainties
The world and US citizens have been reading about and experiencing some of the most difficult financial times, in general, in the past 2 generations or perhaps more. How many people have really been effected by the actual 'Great Recession' may never be really calculated. However, there are also many whose lives have not really been inconvenienced in the least, except that their savings/retirement did not earn as high as interest as it had done previously. If a person was fully employed in a stable position, the anxiety may have been the greatest inconvenience. How many people do we know who actually got laid off due to factors directly related to the financial meltdown?
certainly not 1 in 10 of the people I know. It is difficult to relate to a statistic when it does not affect you personally.
in the non-profit charitable giving arena, two consecutive years of double-digit decreases in giving has come to bear on the overall stability of the net assets of the organization. but essentially, the assets are now about what they were 3 years ago. What was lost was the gain from the last 'boom' year.
Will people be more generous when they have plenty ? Time has yet to tell.. . will they be more generous when the economy improves. .doubtful. many will still be 'pulling out' of this recession for years to come.. .
how many people actually had to access and use their savings? deplete their savings?. .had none to begin with?
what does this say about our advertising world that continues to convince buyers that they must buy more to achieve success, or happiness?
LM
certainly not 1 in 10 of the people I know. It is difficult to relate to a statistic when it does not affect you personally.
in the non-profit charitable giving arena, two consecutive years of double-digit decreases in giving has come to bear on the overall stability of the net assets of the organization. but essentially, the assets are now about what they were 3 years ago. What was lost was the gain from the last 'boom' year.
Will people be more generous when they have plenty ? Time has yet to tell.. . will they be more generous when the economy improves. .doubtful. many will still be 'pulling out' of this recession for years to come.. .
how many people actually had to access and use their savings? deplete their savings?. .had none to begin with?
what does this say about our advertising world that continues to convince buyers that they must buy more to achieve success, or happiness?
LM
Monday, September 21, 2009
Guest Hosting a local TV talk show
Another item on my life's 'would like to try that' list has been accomplished.
Last week I was a guest on KCTU-5 or 43 TV, and this week I was invited to be 'guest host'. the topic: volunteering.
I think I did pretty well, even tho only one person (other than the station co-producer) called in. I may be asked back. LM
Last week I was a guest on KCTU-5 or 43 TV, and this week I was invited to be 'guest host'. the topic: volunteering.
I think I did pretty well, even tho only one person (other than the station co-producer) called in. I may be asked back. LM
Early Fall in Kansas
we certainly can't be complaining about the weather in Kansas this month. It has been unseasonably cool, bringing the forebodings of a long Winter. . .but right now we are enjoying 70's and 80's and it could hardly be any nicer.
Work is going fairly well, but growing anxiety about how the economy will affect the holiday season.
Social life with a Shriner is rather interesting--reminding me of the days when we used to 'let it all hang out' at wedding dances back in Ellis. LM
Work is going fairly well, but growing anxiety about how the economy will affect the holiday season.
Social life with a Shriner is rather interesting--reminding me of the days when we used to 'let it all hang out' at wedding dances back in Ellis. LM
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Turning the calendar--again
As I look to September, it is time for another birthday #62; realizing that if I wanted to, I could accept 'early' Social Security retirement--as my dad did; and he is still collecting it at 100. That was pretty good odds for him Maybe it's better not to wear the old body out for another $100/month or so from Uncle Sam.
It's been another year under my belt, good memories--almost all. Wonderful blessings--new friends, new pride in my life, health & work.
I will gain a new son-in-law before the year-end, which is really special since we'll also celebrate Monica's 40th birthday in about 2 months. It is wonderful to see them so happy and in love.
and, I must say, August has not been so boring as it sometimes was. It was cooler than usual, but also a new friend has begun bringing some social life on the scene. LM
It's been another year under my belt, good memories--almost all. Wonderful blessings--new friends, new pride in my life, health & work.
I will gain a new son-in-law before the year-end, which is really special since we'll also celebrate Monica's 40th birthday in about 2 months. It is wonderful to see them so happy and in love.
and, I must say, August has not been so boring as it sometimes was. It was cooler than usual, but also a new friend has begun bringing some social life on the scene. LM
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Blog Writer's Block
I'm not a fan of August. it's hot, humid. .and has never held much excitement in my life. .no major events. I just don't feel very inspired. .to DO much. Perhaps the extra-sensory stimulation of my July vacation is just sinking in. It's true. some of the mosquito bite scars are just beginning to fade, and I have gotten most of the decent photos scanned and shared..
but, maybe that leaves time to do some extra forward thinking. .planning. .sleeping. .dreaming.
I must admit that I've come up with good ideas during this boredom. .my email from home to work is full of middle-of-the night or week-end reminder notes to myself.
do other people do that?. I wonder.
LM
but, maybe that leaves time to do some extra forward thinking. .planning. .sleeping. .dreaming.
I must admit that I've come up with good ideas during this boredom. .my email from home to work is full of middle-of-the night or week-end reminder notes to myself.
do other people do that?. I wonder.
LM
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I want to go back to 'Beautiful British Columbia'
Even with the mosquito bites, I would love to go to BC again. As their license plates say: Beautiful British Columbia, everything I saw was clean and showed the pride of the people. And I saw a good variety of places, except for the city life. Glaciers, bears, salmon runs, rivers, totem poles, museums, suspension bridges, canyons, waterfalls, temperate rain forests. .trees, wild flowers, native craft work, lots of fresh cold streams. I cooked over wood fires, hiked above the tree line (alpine), saw dozens and dozens of bald eagles and plant life I have never seen before. Camped in the rain, cooked on an old wood stove, lived without running water. . .picked and cooked wild Saskatoon berries, raspberries, fresh strawberries from the camp garden. Cooked and ate fresh salmon. Had fresh chamomile & mint tea, cowboy coffee and cold well water.
Met chiefs of the Gitsan and elders of the Nispa clans. Walked on 300-year-old lava beds that had buried 3 villges & killed 2,000 people under 12 feet of lava. Swam in lakes formed by glaciers & lava flow. Oh, yes. . we also canoed in a 12-place canoe along 46 Kilometers on the Skeena River, watching salmon splashing & running next to shore, fox, coyotes & bear along the roads.
Met chiefs of the Gitsan and elders of the Nispa clans. Walked on 300-year-old lava beds that had buried 3 villges & killed 2,000 people under 12 feet of lava. Swam in lakes formed by glaciers & lava flow. Oh, yes. . we also canoed in a 12-place canoe along 46 Kilometers on the Skeena River, watching salmon splashing & running next to shore, fox, coyotes & bear along the roads.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
My 2009 Vacation Plans
This year I will be experiencing new places and old things. On July 15, I'll head to British Columbia, Canada. .to be part of a training session for a camp being planned for July 2010. It will be called Soaring Spirits camp and is a program designed by a non-profit called Rediscovery Foundation..
www.rediscovery.org
You, too, can still sign up. check out the Soaring Spirits Camp page.
LM
www.rediscovery.org
You, too, can still sign up. check out the Soaring Spirits Camp page.
LM
One Hundred Year Duck Eggs
OK, on July 4, 2009, I ate some things I've never eaten before. As a guest at my employee's Vietnamese wedding reception, there were 7 courses. Seafood soup; cold plate (with the duck eggs); shrimp; duck; lobster; seafood w/ vegetables; fried rice. Then fresh orange wedges . .. and wedding cake. Champagne, soft drinks and Heineken beer were also served. Jalapeno peppers were on the table from the start. It was a small wedding, with small families.
Soup spoons and chop sticks were the only silver. Each serving plate per table of eight, also had a large serving spoon for serving. One cloth napkin for the whole meal, and one dinner plate.. .
I avoided the peppers. .and am feeling fine. .2 hours later. :) stay tuned.
LM
Soup spoons and chop sticks were the only silver. Each serving plate per table of eight, also had a large serving spoon for serving. One cloth napkin for the whole meal, and one dinner plate.. .
I avoided the peppers. .and am feeling fine. .2 hours later. :) stay tuned.
LM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Loving your work
Today was a very good day. The AGI board approved a positive budget for next year, and we will be moving ahead with many good plans to achieve our goals to grow the organization. A new web site will be up within a week.
Checks to agencies will be mailed out next week, and in the words of the board chair "it must make you feel very good when you can see the results of your past year's work in this way."
I had never really thought of it in that way, but he is right. I can count in the hundreds of thousands the people who will benefit from the $950,000+ that will be distributed.
Who would have ever thought? At times like these, I tend to look to my spiritual/faith roots and heritage. It is a humbling experience to realize how many people's efforts were involved in raising these funds. see www.alternativegifts.org LM
Checks to agencies will be mailed out next week, and in the words of the board chair "it must make you feel very good when you can see the results of your past year's work in this way."
I had never really thought of it in that way, but he is right. I can count in the hundreds of thousands the people who will benefit from the $950,000+ that will be distributed.
Who would have ever thought? At times like these, I tend to look to my spiritual/faith roots and heritage. It is a humbling experience to realize how many people's efforts were involved in raising these funds. see www.alternativegifts.org LM
Planning a special vacation
Interesting how some people decide about their vacations. Some go to the same (comfortable) spot every year. .they have invested in what is familiar and it becomes a second home-- a getaway. .in the mountains, on sea-shore, a cabin on a lake.
To me, that seems like work, if you must also be responsible for the upkeep and bills etc. . .not my idea of a vacation.
When my children were small, we tried 'camping out' at a small area lake with a tent, and a coleman stove. The lake was crowded with boats, skiers (we didn't) and families letting their toddlers swim in their diapers --before the days of disposables & such things. . In fact, one hot summer, that lake became a health hazard from such habits, and had to be closed to swimming.
One summer we went to a 'resort' where the kids would ride horses, we could swim in a pool, sit by a lake, or just stay in the hotel-like room. that was the first & last real 'vacation' I recall that had a mix of leisure and relaxation and fun. .I didn't have to cook or take down the tent, or pack up the stuff and fishing poles, clean any fish, etc.. .
well. .vacation is not my favorite topic; I grew up in a family where there were no vacations-- except a trip to visit relatives in Colorado--but not the mountains.. .and there was not entertainment for the kids involved.
In recent years, I have taken 'retreats' to a few spiritual retreat centers and enjoyed seeing the scenery and being in a calming place with water; generally I also prefer to vacation when it is cool, not hot.
SOOO, imagine what my family thought when I announced I plan to go to Canada and spend 10 days, with 4 of them sleeping outdoors in a sleeping bag. .and the others in a 'camp'-- learning First Nation culture and seeing museums, glaciers and volcanic beds, and salmon streams, spending one day on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea. Learning what is necessary and intuitive for those who can live next to nature. . no I don't own a fishing pole. .or a canoe. But I did buy a sleeping bag last year-- in preparation for just such an opportunity as this.
I will have to purchase or borrow a few things: a pocket knife, and binoculars. .otherwise, I should have the basics. the rest will be provided.. . and no driving. if cooking is involved, it will be a 'team' effort.. . it will be a true NEW experience. I will know afterward if I ever want to do such a thing again. Maybe I will have satisfied my curiosity-- depending on how many insect bites I get, and how much sleep I don't get.
this may become a new passion. .it will definitely be a get-away. .and a learning experience too.
If you want to join me/this group-- check out www.rediscovery.org and look under the Soaring Spirits Training topic. The cost for 10 days is only 1200 Canadian $, which I'm told will be a real bargain for folks from the US.
Hope to see you in British Columbia-- July 17-27. If you can't make it, I'll have a good crop of new photos when I return. LM
To me, that seems like work, if you must also be responsible for the upkeep and bills etc. . .not my idea of a vacation.
When my children were small, we tried 'camping out' at a small area lake with a tent, and a coleman stove. The lake was crowded with boats, skiers (we didn't) and families letting their toddlers swim in their diapers --before the days of disposables & such things. . In fact, one hot summer, that lake became a health hazard from such habits, and had to be closed to swimming.
One summer we went to a 'resort' where the kids would ride horses, we could swim in a pool, sit by a lake, or just stay in the hotel-like room. that was the first & last real 'vacation' I recall that had a mix of leisure and relaxation and fun. .I didn't have to cook or take down the tent, or pack up the stuff and fishing poles, clean any fish, etc.. .
well. .vacation is not my favorite topic; I grew up in a family where there were no vacations-- except a trip to visit relatives in Colorado--but not the mountains.. .and there was not entertainment for the kids involved.
In recent years, I have taken 'retreats' to a few spiritual retreat centers and enjoyed seeing the scenery and being in a calming place with water; generally I also prefer to vacation when it is cool, not hot.
SOOO, imagine what my family thought when I announced I plan to go to Canada and spend 10 days, with 4 of them sleeping outdoors in a sleeping bag. .and the others in a 'camp'-- learning First Nation culture and seeing museums, glaciers and volcanic beds, and salmon streams, spending one day on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea. Learning what is necessary and intuitive for those who can live next to nature. . no I don't own a fishing pole. .or a canoe. But I did buy a sleeping bag last year-- in preparation for just such an opportunity as this.
I will have to purchase or borrow a few things: a pocket knife, and binoculars. .otherwise, I should have the basics. the rest will be provided.. . and no driving. if cooking is involved, it will be a 'team' effort.. . it will be a true NEW experience. I will know afterward if I ever want to do such a thing again. Maybe I will have satisfied my curiosity-- depending on how many insect bites I get, and how much sleep I don't get.
this may become a new passion. .it will definitely be a get-away. .and a learning experience too.
If you want to join me/this group-- check out www.rediscovery.org and look under the Soaring Spirits Training topic. The cost for 10 days is only 1200 Canadian $, which I'm told will be a real bargain for folks from the US.
Hope to see you in British Columbia-- July 17-27. If you can't make it, I'll have a good crop of new photos when I return. LM
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Bringing on new staff
What a joy it is to have employees that one feels good about! We have weathered the financial storm of this year and made some necessary adjustments. It is also good to come to understand oneself as a 'boss' in an objective way. I think my time of building up my self-esteem with counselor Gina S. was vital to this. I miss her and the good sessions we had together!
LM
LM
a quarterly update?
It was not my intent to lapse so long from these entries. Spring is a busy time at my work, and with Andrea, Chris & Eleanor here in town now, I have been a bit busier, but still have plenty of 'alone' time to be writing. I must admit, though, that I must have lost the motivation. . a frequent problem with some people. Some would have called it 'fits & starts'. .the characteristics also fit that of gifted or bi-polar afflicted, I think. But, maybe I am simply projecting my traits on others I know. sorry. It's just my way of thinking. .from the general and the knowledge of psychology I know--from personal reflection and experience.
In recent months I have met with a number of the contacts that our agency has created over the years, which is a very good thing. Building relationships by getting to know people personally seems more important than ever. I feel certain that there will be positive results from the travel to Maryland and California.
I am again considering the value of investing in property instead of renting. unfortunately, mortgage rates are now climbing up from their historic lows, so I have probably missed the best window of opportunity.
LM
In recent months I have met with a number of the contacts that our agency has created over the years, which is a very good thing. Building relationships by getting to know people personally seems more important than ever. I feel certain that there will be positive results from the travel to Maryland and California.
I am again considering the value of investing in property instead of renting. unfortunately, mortgage rates are now climbing up from their historic lows, so I have probably missed the best window of opportunity.
LM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Turning over 12,000 Miles
In less than 10 days my 'new' Nissan will be one year old. Yes, I'm still enjoying it. I get questions and compliments on it, and I'm seeing my siblings on the road. I hope that means it is keeping up its reputation as a first-year model.
This past year, I am pleased that I have not put the previous average of 15,000 miles per year, but what that may amount to is fewer trips to see my aging parents who live 200 miles away. The Versa has seen Wisconsin in summer and winter, but I also moved closer to the office, so my daily commute is a net of at least 2-3 miles less each day.
Anyway, the most significant miles this past year were driven in a rental car last fall and on a plane to Uganda Africa and back. Seeing new places and meeting new people is a real joy, even though I have not been a typical tourist. I don't tend to do or care to see the same stuff that one can see on postcards. In Africa, I did take a 2 hour raft trip in the Nile, near where it begins-- so it was not so massive a river as one imagines. We also managed to be dumped in one of the rapids, so the young people in my raft were quite pleased. What fun would a rafting trip be if you didn't experience the adrenalin rush of being dumped?
One of the most interesting parts of that trip was the 2 km. walk up the hill from the water to where the bus loaded. Carrying our life vests, paddle and helmets up the mud-and-leaf covered path bare-footed (at high noon) was a good wake-up call of how pampered one can be. At the top of the hill were smiling children greeting us with "how are you?/ I'm fine.". . and we would exchange their greeting, and it would start all over again. Reaching to touch & shake their hands and wave a granny's good-bye as we got on the bus was one of the the highlights of my trip.
Of course, the main 'PR hook' for the trip was to hear Jane Goodall speak, even though most of the students had no real idea of who she was, unless they had been told to research her. The adult sponsors were probably more impressed with her than the high school age students. LM
This past year, I am pleased that I have not put the previous average of 15,000 miles per year, but what that may amount to is fewer trips to see my aging parents who live 200 miles away. The Versa has seen Wisconsin in summer and winter, but I also moved closer to the office, so my daily commute is a net of at least 2-3 miles less each day.
Anyway, the most significant miles this past year were driven in a rental car last fall and on a plane to Uganda Africa and back. Seeing new places and meeting new people is a real joy, even though I have not been a typical tourist. I don't tend to do or care to see the same stuff that one can see on postcards. In Africa, I did take a 2 hour raft trip in the Nile, near where it begins-- so it was not so massive a river as one imagines. We also managed to be dumped in one of the rapids, so the young people in my raft were quite pleased. What fun would a rafting trip be if you didn't experience the adrenalin rush of being dumped?
One of the most interesting parts of that trip was the 2 km. walk up the hill from the water to where the bus loaded. Carrying our life vests, paddle and helmets up the mud-and-leaf covered path bare-footed (at high noon) was a good wake-up call of how pampered one can be. At the top of the hill were smiling children greeting us with "how are you?/ I'm fine.". . and we would exchange their greeting, and it would start all over again. Reaching to touch & shake their hands and wave a granny's good-bye as we got on the bus was one of the the highlights of my trip.
Of course, the main 'PR hook' for the trip was to hear Jane Goodall speak, even though most of the students had no real idea of who she was, unless they had been told to research her. The adult sponsors were probably more impressed with her than the high school age students. LM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Welcoming in a New Year
New beginnings can be fun, pleasant and a bit frightening--especially at times when we feel we have no control over the future. It seems that optimists like me tend to think that we do have some control over enough things to bring about some element of happiness, contentment--or at least ways to minimize anxiety--for our personal lives.
Living our lives and making decisions based on the past, and assumptions that we make from that is a tricky thing. Yes, we can and should learn from history. . but when 'the past' that we use for our conclusions is really a warped sense of reality, or poor sense of worth, that doesn't work--and is not the best way to make decisions.
Perhaps optimism, in part, is a trick of balancing emotion and reason.
and sometimes identifying the actual emotion and what is rational can not be done without using other people as 'sounding boards'. . or other writers' thoughts and experiences to gain perspective.
When we surround ourselves with people who are mostly similar to ourselves-- who tend to think like we do, and enjoy the same things as we do, then we may be insulating ourselves from the ability to break free of habits or irrational thinking. There are many examples of this: teens who feel like their parents are 'mean' and don't understand them, and find gangs or peer groups that will accept their warped self-perceptions; affinity groups who believe that their political or religious philosophy is the best or only way to solve particular problems; labor union leaders --or corporate managers--who believe that being flexible equals being weak, and they will be taken advantage of. I guess the same goes for peace-loving folk and optimists.
BUT: how can we try to make our personal contentment benefit others around us--manifest itself in the world?
We have created a world that understands and adapts to competition and self-preservation so much more naturally than to dialogue and collaboration. As countries, we act, and then react; we allow egocentric, hair-trigger personalities to run the board rooms and shop floors and living rooms of our nation-- and we don't call them to accountability for the damage they cause.
Peace-loving people have a hard time dealing with hot heads, and yet we must learn to. When we pray and wish for 'peace on earth'. .we must begin in our own heads and hearts to ask what we tolerate that is not promoting peace.. . not just what what we can do to create more personal peace. Perhaps the answer is learning to confront and deal with conflict in new ways. LM
Living our lives and making decisions based on the past, and assumptions that we make from that is a tricky thing. Yes, we can and should learn from history. . but when 'the past' that we use for our conclusions is really a warped sense of reality, or poor sense of worth, that doesn't work--and is not the best way to make decisions.
Perhaps optimism, in part, is a trick of balancing emotion and reason.
and sometimes identifying the actual emotion and what is rational can not be done without using other people as 'sounding boards'. . or other writers' thoughts and experiences to gain perspective.
When we surround ourselves with people who are mostly similar to ourselves-- who tend to think like we do, and enjoy the same things as we do, then we may be insulating ourselves from the ability to break free of habits or irrational thinking. There are many examples of this: teens who feel like their parents are 'mean' and don't understand them, and find gangs or peer groups that will accept their warped self-perceptions; affinity groups who believe that their political or religious philosophy is the best or only way to solve particular problems; labor union leaders --or corporate managers--who believe that being flexible equals being weak, and they will be taken advantage of. I guess the same goes for peace-loving folk and optimists.
BUT: how can we try to make our personal contentment benefit others around us--manifest itself in the world?
We have created a world that understands and adapts to competition and self-preservation so much more naturally than to dialogue and collaboration. As countries, we act, and then react; we allow egocentric, hair-trigger personalities to run the board rooms and shop floors and living rooms of our nation-- and we don't call them to accountability for the damage they cause.
Peace-loving people have a hard time dealing with hot heads, and yet we must learn to. When we pray and wish for 'peace on earth'. .we must begin in our own heads and hearts to ask what we tolerate that is not promoting peace.. . not just what what we can do to create more personal peace. Perhaps the answer is learning to confront and deal with conflict in new ways. LM
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