Welcoming in a New Year

New beginnings can be fun, pleasant and a bit frightening--especially at times when we feel we have no control over the future. It seems that optimists like me tend to think that we do have some control over enough things to bring about some element of happiness, contentment--or at least ways to minimize anxiety--for our personal lives.
Living our lives and making decisions based on the past, and assumptions that we make from that is a tricky thing. Yes, we can and should learn from history. . but when 'the past' that we use for our conclusions is really a warped sense of reality, or poor sense of worth, that doesn't work--and is not the best way to make decisions.
Perhaps optimism, in part, is a trick of balancing emotion and reason.
and sometimes identifying the actual emotion and what is rational can not be done without using other people as 'sounding boards'. . or other writers' thoughts and experiences to gain perspective.

When we surround ourselves with people who are mostly similar to ourselves-- who tend to think like we do, and enjoy the same things as we do, then we may be insulating ourselves from the ability to break free of habits or irrational thinking. There are many examples of this: teens who feel like their parents are 'mean' and don't understand them, and find gangs or peer groups that will accept their warped self-perceptions; affinity groups who believe that their political or religious philosophy is the best or only way to solve particular problems; labor union leaders --or corporate managers--who believe that being flexible equals being weak, and they will be taken advantage of. I guess the same goes for peace-loving folk and optimists.

BUT: how can we try to make our personal contentment benefit others around us--manifest itself in the world?
We have created a world that understands and adapts to competition and self-preservation so much more naturally than to dialogue and collaboration. As countries, we act, and then react; we allow egocentric, hair-trigger personalities to run the board rooms and shop floors and living rooms of our nation-- and we don't call them to accountability for the damage they cause.

Peace-loving people have a hard time dealing with hot heads, and yet we must learn to. When we pray and wish for 'peace on earth'. .we must begin in our own heads and hearts to ask what we tolerate that is not promoting peace.. . not just what what we can do to create more personal peace. Perhaps the answer is learning to confront and deal with conflict in new ways. LM

And NOW. .it's December

Although I/we know some people who are jobless, I still have the attitude that some who will 'suffer' due to this economic downturn/recession/depression-- whatever we decide to call it-- may be those who have less willingness to ask the tough questions about what they may really want to do with their time and lives. As I look at my parents who lived through two World Wars and many financial downturns, they became stronger and wiser because of those events. They did not turn to the government to 'bail them out'. They learned to save and to pay with cash. They learned to 'do without' and to help each other. People can still learn those things. We can recover the resiliency that been the trademark of those who 'survived' the challenges of life.

I know that history shows when many people get laid off, they found ways to blend their specific strengths and gifts to meet the needs of others. There is a principle in the 12-step problem of overcoming addictions that recognizes that hitting bottom must happen before people can face the fact they MUST change. Hopefully, more governmental leaders and individuals will learn from this fact. Change cannot happen without pain.

I think that we will see fewer people spending on their 'hobbies' and we might concentrate more on the 'needs' rather than the wants. Perhaps, in fact, that means that more people will be attracted to working for non-profits, and understanding the benefits of such work. The satisfaction that one receives when helping someone else is difficult to explain but it is something that is somewhat universal. It also can not be easily taught through logical learning processes. It requires the inclusion of emotion. Therefore, affective education. That term may not be much used these days, but 30-40 years ago it was recognized as an excellent tool for training in prevention. Now we use 'case studies' or 'best practices', but the term affective education is not seen much.

The emotion that is referred to is 'passion' for what one believes to right-- therefore, ethics--which is something else we don't too good of job of doing in schools. Zero tolerance is not ethics. It is blind obedience. We are beginning to see the outcome of zero tolerance. . Intolerant children. children and teachers who can't make decisions on their their own. They look to the rules of the country/institution/workplace to save them. How did I get on this topic? It seems I often get back to this basic stuff of emotional intelligence. .no matter how hard I try not to.

well. .it is December-- a time for holidays, and giving, and thinking about family and peace and caring about others. Fortunately, I work in a place where I get to enjoy helping people accomplish doing that (giving & caring) and it is not through traditional gifts.

so. .here's wishing you and yours a blessed holiday season, and a year-end that will help you be hopeful about the future, even in your doubts and fears of the future. LM

November has flown

It was 20 days ago when I last blogged. Since then we've elected a new President, much to my approval. My eldest has turned another year older . . and wiser. I am extremely proud of my adult children, and I try to remind them of that occasionally.

We may be having an early Thanksgiving Day /Eleanor 2nd Birthday gathering since Darrin & Family are taking an early Christmas Family Surprise Trip. He certainly loves surprising his children.

A date has been set to celebrate Granpa Schumm's (my dad) 100th birthday in January; and also in January I may be going to Africa for my first visit.

Four years ago this month I was privileged to be studying with some very special friends who helped me recognize my need for medical treatment for depression. Since then I have tried to make as many people as possible aware of the insidious ways that situational depression can sneak up on a person. So many people could be living their lives with a greater sense of fulfillment if they would be willing to seek help. Our current world situation and the stresses of continual change and workplace pressures are greater than in previous times. Fewer people must be handling more information, and decisions are required with less time for review.

However, technology can still not replace the importance of spending time in reflection and knowing how it really feels to relax. It may be able to determine if the mind is not stressed, but it cannot create that sense of peace. That must come from within. LM

Voting on other than ELECTION DAY

Who'd have thunk?. .
how did we advance so quickly in just 4 years that we can now accommodate people to vote at a time other than just one day every four years?. .. really?
that does not take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

In honor of progress, I will go vote "EARLY" today.

Let me know if you did the same. LM

Changing with the season

Fall is my favorite time of year. the air is fresh & crisp; the colors can be so invigorating. for me, I welcome the end of the hot days, since I'm not one to love the summer sports. It seems that the sunshine is just cleaner in Fall--at least here in Kansas. I usually choose to take some vacation this time of year. I have just returned from two weeks and 3,600 miles in the Rocky Mountain States. I traveled mainly Interstate highways this year, except for a stretch along the Salmon River in Idaho, and also practically following the Continental Divide (I think) in southern Colorado and northern New Mexico. The longer I was on the road, the more beautiful the colors became.

I felt part of the change. I actually could feel less stiffness in my back as I would lie down to sleep at night, even tho I fatigued from driving and was getting virtually no exercise--and I was keeping in touch with my office, since it was a sort of 'working vacation'. I had planned visits with about a dozen volunteers in communities along the way, to check in about the Alternative Gift Markets they are coordinating or planning to hold in the future.

The time alone in the car also gave me opportunity to better accept that there is so little that I really can control. But I did need to keep alert and be aware of my surroundings, since it is the season for hunting, and the deer & elk were being disturbed from their normal habitat.

Perhaps I am entering a new season of my life. One in which I can settle in and feel more secure, but also must stay aware for approaching storms. Now, however, I feel more prepared for those events than ever before. I think that is because I know that I have survived many previous storms--even with the unpredictable stock market and workplace angst. I gain comfort in the scripture that says "there is nothing new under the sun". .
and yet, each day there is something new. There is good news. To listen to many news stories, one would think that we are always 'breaking new records'. .but in many ways, that is simply number-crunching for the younger generation that has not weathered so many storms.

I watch my 99 year old father and realize what he has survived. .and still, he just lives one meal and one day at a time.. . I don't know if he reflects on things nearly so much as I. .but maybe he does. So many people have stories about the storms they have survived. We need to hear more of them to appreciate the changing of each season. Many of them are living now in the 'best time of their lives'. .and, yet, we Americans want so much more. I wonder why that is. LM