Holiday traditions & Not

It seems to me that once a person chooses to divorce, they may find themselves losing touch with the family traditions. .or is it perhaps a choice to do so? If I had to categorize myself, I would probably not use the word 'traditional.'. .In fact, as a change-agent, of sorts, I may be the bane of traditionalists.. .I like change. .I like learning and doing different things and differently. Sometimes I wonder if my family thinks badly of me for that.

To me, traditions sometimes equal 'boring', even emotionally painful .but I do try very hard to respect other peoples' need for honoring traditions. Some traditions are very good. .especially to provide feelings of security for children.

On the other hand, hearing the phrase 'but, we always do/ have done it that way!'. .just makes me cringe-- especially in a church or volunteer setting. It is also the basis for many a good sit-com stereotype of grandparents or in-laws. Being tied to tradition, just for the sake of tradition could be what keeps our world from moving toward peace; it can certainly delay conflict resolution. sometimes it is just plain neurotic!

so. . this Christmas is proving to be another example of non-tradition. no tree. no Christmas Eve worship, no dinner with the family. It can wait. That is not simply due to divorce. It is a part of honoring my married childrens' decisions about how they want to (or choose to) spend their holidays. I wonder how many people feel that they must do the family 'traditional' thing, even though they don't enjoy them any longer? Perhaps it is time to 'let go' of the obligations that were implied by well-meaning parents and allow each person and new couple find their own traditions. I hope that is not seen as a bad thing. LM

I am still thinking

that I should not write/publish what I'm really thinking. perhaps it is paranoia. maybe it's 'better judgment'. .but MAYBE. .somehow, some things are better left unsaid . .unpublished . .at some times.

this is a strange new thought for someone has often believed her calling was that to be a change-agent/prophetic voice/advocate for the oppressed.

Have I been beat down by the system?. .is this how the historic oppressive systems kept the well-educated people 'in their place'? Fear to speak out, to be seen as 'crazy' or obsessive or irrational or over-emotional. Is the 'fire in my belly' just an ulcer that has been caused by caring too much about the principles of honesty and reason and believing in possibility.

I have been referred to the book: The Innovator's Dilemma. perhaps there will be some answers there. Stand by. I'll report back.

It's all in the timing

I really do believe that, and as I get nearer to my ability to retire, I have been realizing that God's timing is really so much more reliable than when I try to make things happen. Case in point: I've been looking for a house to buy for at least 6 months.. .for months we thought we wanted to remain in the neighborhood where I now rent. However, it is a quaint place with houses that date back to the 1920's. .now, after looking at dozens, I have concluded that I really don't have the knowledge or ability to keep one of these older homes up.. .so, in another neighborhood, built in the 60's, with a school for Ellie nearby, and plenty of shopping within walking distance, a house was found to meet our expectations.. .so. now, we are in the waiting period to the 'closing date' about Dec. 18.
it will be a house large enough to have 4 generations, if we wanted; large garden, so we will be forced to grow our own veggies, and a nice yard for Ellie and other children to play in.

I am amazing myself realizing that I am becoming the grandmother I never expected to be. Three-year-old Eleanor has changed my entire outlook on life. It will be precious to watch her grow up, like my parents did not get to do with my children. We are fortunate that they are still around to see their great- and great-great grandchildren, at the time we were destined to follow the road to find a job in the city, and leave the parents in the small towns of our childhood.

that is common among so many baby-boomers I know. . now some are returning to their roots, and others are still searching for the search for happiness in financial success that that illusive 'good job' promises.
And so. .as I speak of timing, I am reflecting on timing in various ways. .
decisions, for one.
some of them are risky. .ones that others can not see as rational. .some people may be envious that I have a family that would want to reside in a 3-generation household by choice. It does not seem so common around here. But, we know that some of the pioneer families of old raised several generations in one house-- but perhaps not by choice. I believe there will be many advantages to this decision. financial, for one. It seems that sharing the costs of a household is a better way to use our resources than each family feeling they must have complete privacy. I've found that such privacy also comes with isolation and even loneliness. .so, in a few years, if I decide this was not the best decision, there will still be options for us.
in the meantime, we intend to leave the house we are buying 'better than we found it., The house needs a family that can give it some TLC, and we do have that to offer. LM

Facing financial uncertainties

The world and US citizens have been reading about and experiencing some of the most difficult financial times, in general, in the past 2 generations or perhaps more. How many people have really been effected by the actual 'Great Recession' may never be really calculated. However, there are also many whose lives have not really been inconvenienced in the least, except that their savings/retirement did not earn as high as interest as it had done previously. If a person was fully employed in a stable position, the anxiety may have been the greatest inconvenience. How many people do we know who actually got laid off due to factors directly related to the financial meltdown?
certainly not 1 in 10 of the people I know. It is difficult to relate to a statistic when it does not affect you personally.

in the non-profit charitable giving arena, two consecutive years of double-digit decreases in giving has come to bear on the overall stability of the net assets of the organization. but essentially, the assets are now about what they were 3 years ago. What was lost was the gain from the last 'boom' year.
Will people be more generous when they have plenty ? Time has yet to tell.. . will they be more generous when the economy improves. .doubtful. many will still be 'pulling out' of this recession for years to come.. .
how many people actually had to access and use their savings? deplete their savings?. .had none to begin with?
what does this say about our advertising world that continues to convince buyers that they must buy more to achieve success, or happiness?
LM

Guest Hosting a local TV talk show

Another item on my life's 'would like to try that' list has been accomplished.

Last week I was a guest on KCTU-5 or 43 TV, and this week I was invited to be 'guest host'. the topic: volunteering.

I think I did pretty well, even tho only one person (other than the station co-producer) called in. I may be asked back. LM