The job: Mom

I guess the job that I chose, and like the best, is still that of being a mother.  My 3 kids and their children give me the greatest pride of all.  And no supervisor to fire you. The pay comes in hugs and smiles and little hands that will hold yours when you cross the street or rock them as babies. 
Mother's Day is just around the corner and they always remember it;  holidays have always been a great tradition for them-- something their dad fostered in them, even more than I.. . And he did his part to help me become a good mom.  They honor him as their dad, too, which also makes me proud.

so. .even though I must admit that I used to want  recognition for the outside-the-home work I did, my best accomplishments are still Monica, Darrin and Andrea.

Today I received a Mother's Day card from someone who cares about me very much.  It is a great feeling when people other than my family recognize that I've been a good mom, and continue to enjoy it.. What more could a mother ask for?

Now what?

Since August 2010, I have been attempting to do what I thought I wanted to do: become a self-employed entrepreneur-- a consultant. .
it has not worked and it's time to wave the white flag.
These attempts have brought me to reality. .but also brought me 'down'. . .and I'm not sure the lessons learned are worth what I had to pay . .
my self worth has taken a beating;
my bank accounts and financial worth have been battered beyond repair. .
I feel that I've been taken for a ride, and worst of all. .I was warned about affiliating with the company I chose, but I thought I was good enough to succeed on my own.
Now I'm feeling the pain of failure, and nursing my wounds.. .looking for the next more positive open door, that I won't have to bang down or beg or pay someone to hire me.
LM

Intervention to prevent business blunders or relationship failures

Still trying to find a good platform for the processes and services of a consultant delivering human relations consulting, diagnostics and training.. .
Collaboration may be something that is understood among organizations, but not necessarily between/among individuals. However, improving communication between two employees--supervisor & subordinate, or between a volunteer leader and the staff member they oversee is also an excellent application for collaboration consulting. By bringing new perspectives to the table, those who are open to improvements or change can be helped through coaching or consulting.

This is beginning to show merit with the clients I am working with. Conflict and defensiveness is so common in our world, many people simply think they much accept it as part of their 'job'. .or that it is inherent in relationships, such as marriage. However, the principles which are presented through A Plus Collaboration coaching or workshops are presented in a pro-active way, rather than a reactive way, such as when people resort to marriage counseling or family therapy. Therapy implies that someone is sick, and thus a medical diagnosis becomes part of their insurance profile. Sadly, this is not necessary.
LM

No one wants a free lunch.. .

That was my conclusion today, since I had invited and given away several complimentary spaces to a workshop I had planned to hold. It would have been a series to show people the significance of keeping loyal customers, compared to just 'satisfied' customers-- and especially trying to always find 'new customers'.

well. . NOT One person showed up. nice restaurant; Wichita Old Town. The waiter assigned to our group and I had some great conversation and I thought first of the New Testament parable of the rich man who held a banquet and no one came. so he went out into the streets and brought in the poor and beggars to his banquet-- and they probably appreciated it.
What did I/can I learn?
a. people are suspicious of free lunch?
b. business people think their busy lives are greater priority than learning more efficient ways to create profits?
c. they don't value training?
d. they are lazy?

I'm baffled.
LM

Starting a new business

Seems to be moving at the pace of a turtle, to find the right fit for customers. After the Chamber Expo (rainy weather) on Thursday, it seemed that men moving into retirement might be good coaching clients, and collections or accounting firms are interested in working on staff attitudes. Also have found that several organizational psychologists are intrigued by the concept that training can accomplish change, even though we may take slightly different approaches.

What is next is yet to be seen.. . stay tuned.
LM

No turning back for New Business

It's now official. The incorporation filing has been submitted; fees paid; Employer Identification Number (EIN).
The Company name, as of August 7, 2010, is A Plus Collaboration Associates inc.

When I initiated the bank account, the Bank Sales Manager, after asking about what I would be doing, suggested that he might easily refer some of the small businesses he works with to me-- and even possibly be able to use our customer service training for the bank staff.

It seems almost too easy at this point.. .I'm still waiting for the logo graphics an website initiation. Monday I will initiate lease for office at 2022 W 13th St. Wichita 67203.

Phew!
LM

Finding Just the Right Company Name

What's in a name?. .and logo?
they are quite important these days, with websites and all. .
After much thought I have decided to try to blend my theological training & beliefs about God's role in human potential into my mission statement and company name. If I am ashamed of my faith, then I'm in bad shape; after all, it is what has gotten me thus far in life. .and has some valuable wisdom to pass on to others. I would very much like to do training that can accomplish results similar to the inspiration that some people get from their faith traditions, but by doing this in workplaces (maybe a few churches and non-profits too), I can reach people who may be hungry for some spiritual food, but not make them choke down the preaching and bible verses to get the message.

Also, I was advised that new businesses whose names begin with A have a better chance at surviving to maturity. . .AND, I have been asked by friends why I should use the McCloud name, since I may eventually have the opportunity to change that.. . .and so. .
I think the following has the elements that I have been seeking:

AuthenticEnthusiasm.com. . .is 'not found' by the browsers, and I am hoping that it is available as a company name through the legal channels that I must now go through. By August 1, I should be well on my way to having a website, bank account, etc.
LM

New Photos/ new Visions

Albert & Me. .
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of spending time with some friends in Washington, DC. I was aware of many of the museums and memorials from my visit there when I was a teen. This time I saw only a few select things. . The National Holocaust Museum (exhibit on Propaganda), The Einstein Memorial, and Great Falls National Park. .these left an impression on me.
I have a poster with an Einstein quote "I want to know God's thoughts; all the rest is just details."
if that is true then not many things that we spend so much time debating and worrying about will probably make any difference in the big scheme of things. .but, in Stephen Covey's words, what is most important is to concentrate on First Things First: how to love, live life, and leave a legacy. The important things are those we can't see the result of by looking at the quarterly report, our annual income tax return, or our retirement fund. They can't be measured in numbers, but can be sensed in hugs, laughter, tears, smiles and the days we need a special encouragement, when someone is there to say or do the right thing. Today was one of those days. As I prepare to make another major career/life decision, I returned to familiar surroundings, music and faces at Good Shepherd Episcopal Church today. It was the right thing to do. Thank you, Sheila!
LM

progress equals. .. ????

Since my last blog post I have been to visit the RAC corp. HQ in Pennsylvania and spent some time with other unemployed friends in Washington DC.. had a phone interview with a Liberal Arts college in central Missouri (development dept position) and been cleared for Worker's compensation payments for the injury - related expenses of my shoulder surgery. Therapy has been prescribed and after a slow start, I seem to be doing okay now. . at first we thought that scar tissue might have created a 'frozen shoulder' situation. . but it looks like it will resolve itself.

still not quite certain about the self-employment as a consultant. going into business for oneself always has some up front expense, but most people of my culture (family who have never been self-employed) may not understand how that works.. .
they see it as a risky venture. .especially when I try to explain the company structure, which is rather unique, but seems quite adequate and fair for the preparation and resources they provide. they have delineated each expense, so that it is very accountable, and makes good business sense.

well. .if you are interested in this next entrepreneurial venture that I am considering undertaking, check out ResourceAssociatesCorp.com. .
and get back to me.
LM

34 years ago today

I became a mother, officially, for the 3rd time. Andrea (named after her maternal great-grandfather Andrew Schum) is a strong person, and she has overcome difficulties, just as Andrew did. He was the only one of his family who chose to immigrate and bring his family to America in 1911, when Andrea's grandfather was 2 years old. Her grandfather Martin is still alive and unusually healthy at 101. He has practiced prevention and lived a frugal life, worked hard, but retired early. Her grandmother is also a very hard worker, and has many talents that Andrea has chosen to continue: making quilts, cooking, sewing, knitting (grandma says she did when she was young).
She is a good mother and enjoys planning & hosting parties, family gatherings and maintaining family traditions. Such was the party she planned today. It was 'just right'.

Now that we have a nice large home, we hope to do that more-- as we did today. the kids played in the yard; we grilled. there was plenty of room in the living room for people to sit and chat. The dirty dishes were out of sight in our kitchen that is not seen from the front room! (I really like that!)

Andrea has been a 'special' youngest child. .and her brother and sister often teased me that she was spoiled. I would tell them that each child gets treated differently, based on their personality. I truly believe that. .and I don't apologize for any of my parenting with any of them. I am proud of them all, but mostly of Andrea, since she is JUST VERY SPECIAL to me. none of my other kids (and their families) would I want to live with me. .nor they have me in their homes. .they are different. .I think that Andrea and Chris and I have managed (and will continue to work toward) mutual respect.
This is the way families in Grandfather Andrew's and Martin's day managed, and raised children who learned to appreciate each other. .and we can too.
Our 3-gen family has already paid off in financial savings (utilities, food, shared vehicles/tools, shared gardening/yardwork). .and also in providing care for me during the recuperation from my shoulder surgery. I trust there will be many more instances that we find the benefits and values of this decision.

Back in 1976, Andrea was not 'planned'. .nor were her sister and brother-- like couples can plan the possibilty and timing of having children now.. .
but each day I am thankful for the special blessing that each of them brings to my life.
yes. .the pain of childbirth is so quickly forgotten. .and the recovery is not even as long as for a broken bone or rotator cuff surgery. The female body has fantastic abilities to be restored and refreshed by the birth of a child. LM

a 'job' possibility

Soon it will be 3 months of unemployment, with steady applications being submitted and no interviews. If I were in the aircraft industry, I would understand, but the non-profit world has not seen the same kinds of lay-outs in our town. School teachers have been holding their breaths, but the cuts did not go too deep there, thankfully. The art and music programs were spared in the Wichita schools, unlike some of the suburban schools.

however. .for a few years, I have often wondered what it would be like to be a consultant in my 'final career'. Last week I was contacted by a company (Resource Associates Company) in Reading Pennsylvania, and--in the hiring person's terms-- it may be a 'fit'. .the company is into working with people who want to have their own businesses, or work under small affiliate consulting firms, and then support them in an exceptional way to become successful business consultants in coaching, strategic planning, people development, leadership, process efficiencies and quality management-- through the training modules they have created, validated and proven to be cost-efficient.

Their interview process is a 'mutual evaluation' 2-day meeting at their corporate offices.
I'm feeling quite positive about this. It would get me out of the stress of non-profit leadership, but could, in some cases, allow me to coach / train other non-profit leaders to be better at what they want to do.
LM

Jobless. ..two months and counting

Unemployment. . thank goodness for the safety net of Unemp. insurance!
but it can really be a struggle to maintain one's self esteem/confidence. .

if it were not for being here with Andrea, Chris and Ellie I would probably be a real slug. .
but since I can't walk around in my crumby jammies all the time, I at least get dressed. .and do my part of the chores.

Realizing that once you have 'president' on your resume' it is probably not going to be easy to be hired in just any ol' job. .

and so. .I'm considering interim positions, working for 'myself'. .. .as a consultant. .or maybe I should try temp work.

I'm too out of shape to be a good waitress, I fear.
LM

Experiencing a handicap--not on the golf course

About 3 weeks ago I had arthroscopic surgery to repair torn 'rotater cuff' tendons and my bicep in the right arm. While many people who experience this injury are probably athletes, I was treated to this special deficit of ability to lift my hand above my shoulder height. . from a fall on the ice and blow to the fore-arm just below my elbow. That was Feb 8. On March 31, I had the surgery. For the first 2 weeks, I slept sitting up, with the sling that included a firm foam pillow between my waist and my forearm. the shoulder was not to be used in any way. so. . showering, dressing, combing /brushing hair or teeth. .and reaching for just about anything was done cautiously if it was possible to do at all.

One of the best things I must admit is that I have a daughter who is a very conscientious and patient care-giver. I have seen a side of her that I was not so aware of. I could not have managed the first week, especially, without her. For about 3 weeks, she has also been my 'driver'.

However, I didn't get out of all my chores. I still had one good arm, and use of my right hand, as long as I didn't try to lift or hold on to something that required pulling away from my body.. .and so, the laundry continued to get done, and I also kept up with my recycling duties.. .I also got out of changing Eleanor's (3 yr. old granddaughter) diapers.

within a week, I found a comfortable position of holding my laptop on my lap (as designed?) so that I can get plenty of job-searching done on-line.

So. .in some ways, I have been granted an unplanned sabbatical. With the assistance of unemployment benefits, we are get our needs met, but I have not been able to finish that paint job, or wallpaper, or cleaning the windows or light fixtures. .those will have to wait.. .

oh well. .that's okay too.

perhaps this is a prelude to retirement.. .not sure I am ready for it, but it does make one think what life would be like without so much money, plenty of time, and some occasional handicaps accompanied by caring people to remind us we don't have to do it all.
LM

It may be time for a new blog. . new start

What is that they say about when one door closes?. .well. .the big door of what was the center of my life slammed shut on me on 3/3/2010. .about 4 years to the day that I had my last termination letter in the first week in March.. .
I always seemed to have my highs and lows in February, so I guess this year is no exception. AGI is now a past employer on my resume'. That might be a reminder to all those who think they are doing a good job in their work. . not everyone thinks so. .
so when you are not your own boss, they get the last word.

what is next?
find a few new friends/colleagues-- or maybe look up some old ones.
maybe continue in non-profit but not as the top dog?. .I'll let the buck stop on someone's desk.
maybe I really am better as a 'support' person. . maybe. .
maybe there is some place in Wichita that needs a person just like me right away. .and therefore the universe is making way. .right now.
a little time will tell.
in the meantime. .I'm trying to get over the pity party and get on to thinking about new beginnings.. .
there are so many things that could be beginning right now.. . too many to name. .so I'll quit looking over my shoulder. . in a day or 2.
I need to take a few days to grieve right now.
thanks for stopping to read this life journey. . LM

Three generations at new home

No one said it would be easy.

Since Christmas, the newness is wearing off, and we are finding our different preferences again. Besides Andrea having to deal with the stress of being an at-home mom, with boredom and frustration being the most frequent enemy. It is not like I can't relate. I do recall the long days while the bread-winner was at work.

Learning how to use better adult-to-adult communication and applying good conflict resolution techniques is what I always thought was the deficit in my marriage and early parenting years. I did take parenting classes and read a lot of books to reflect on my own feelings & behavior. I wonder if that is something that is not the norm?
I wonder if I will be able to apply some of the pastoral care skills I learned? Active listening was something I heard in marriage counseling, but it never seemed to 'stick'. I wonder why. I guess it takes all/both sides being willing to practice and have the goal of strengthening the relationship.

LM

Holiday traditions & Not

It seems to me that once a person chooses to divorce, they may find themselves losing touch with the family traditions. .or is it perhaps a choice to do so? If I had to categorize myself, I would probably not use the word 'traditional.'. .In fact, as a change-agent, of sorts, I may be the bane of traditionalists.. .I like change. .I like learning and doing different things and differently. Sometimes I wonder if my family thinks badly of me for that.

To me, traditions sometimes equal 'boring', even emotionally painful .but I do try very hard to respect other peoples' need for honoring traditions. Some traditions are very good. .especially to provide feelings of security for children.

On the other hand, hearing the phrase 'but, we always do/ have done it that way!'. .just makes me cringe-- especially in a church or volunteer setting. It is also the basis for many a good sit-com stereotype of grandparents or in-laws. Being tied to tradition, just for the sake of tradition could be what keeps our world from moving toward peace; it can certainly delay conflict resolution. sometimes it is just plain neurotic!

so. . this Christmas is proving to be another example of non-tradition. no tree. no Christmas Eve worship, no dinner with the family. It can wait. That is not simply due to divorce. It is a part of honoring my married childrens' decisions about how they want to (or choose to) spend their holidays. I wonder how many people feel that they must do the family 'traditional' thing, even though they don't enjoy them any longer? Perhaps it is time to 'let go' of the obligations that were implied by well-meaning parents and allow each person and new couple find their own traditions. I hope that is not seen as a bad thing. LM

I am still thinking

that I should not write/publish what I'm really thinking. perhaps it is paranoia. maybe it's 'better judgment'. .but MAYBE. .somehow, some things are better left unsaid . .unpublished . .at some times.

this is a strange new thought for someone has often believed her calling was that to be a change-agent/prophetic voice/advocate for the oppressed.

Have I been beat down by the system?. .is this how the historic oppressive systems kept the well-educated people 'in their place'? Fear to speak out, to be seen as 'crazy' or obsessive or irrational or over-emotional. Is the 'fire in my belly' just an ulcer that has been caused by caring too much about the principles of honesty and reason and believing in possibility.

I have been referred to the book: The Innovator's Dilemma. perhaps there will be some answers there. Stand by. I'll report back.

It's all in the timing

I really do believe that, and as I get nearer to my ability to retire, I have been realizing that God's timing is really so much more reliable than when I try to make things happen. Case in point: I've been looking for a house to buy for at least 6 months.. .for months we thought we wanted to remain in the neighborhood where I now rent. However, it is a quaint place with houses that date back to the 1920's. .now, after looking at dozens, I have concluded that I really don't have the knowledge or ability to keep one of these older homes up.. .so, in another neighborhood, built in the 60's, with a school for Ellie nearby, and plenty of shopping within walking distance, a house was found to meet our expectations.. .so. now, we are in the waiting period to the 'closing date' about Dec. 18.
it will be a house large enough to have 4 generations, if we wanted; large garden, so we will be forced to grow our own veggies, and a nice yard for Ellie and other children to play in.

I am amazing myself realizing that I am becoming the grandmother I never expected to be. Three-year-old Eleanor has changed my entire outlook on life. It will be precious to watch her grow up, like my parents did not get to do with my children. We are fortunate that they are still around to see their great- and great-great grandchildren, at the time we were destined to follow the road to find a job in the city, and leave the parents in the small towns of our childhood.

that is common among so many baby-boomers I know. . now some are returning to their roots, and others are still searching for the search for happiness in financial success that that illusive 'good job' promises.
And so. .as I speak of timing, I am reflecting on timing in various ways. .
decisions, for one.
some of them are risky. .ones that others can not see as rational. .some people may be envious that I have a family that would want to reside in a 3-generation household by choice. It does not seem so common around here. But, we know that some of the pioneer families of old raised several generations in one house-- but perhaps not by choice. I believe there will be many advantages to this decision. financial, for one. It seems that sharing the costs of a household is a better way to use our resources than each family feeling they must have complete privacy. I've found that such privacy also comes with isolation and even loneliness. .so, in a few years, if I decide this was not the best decision, there will still be options for us.
in the meantime, we intend to leave the house we are buying 'better than we found it., The house needs a family that can give it some TLC, and we do have that to offer. LM

Facing financial uncertainties

The world and US citizens have been reading about and experiencing some of the most difficult financial times, in general, in the past 2 generations or perhaps more. How many people have really been effected by the actual 'Great Recession' may never be really calculated. However, there are also many whose lives have not really been inconvenienced in the least, except that their savings/retirement did not earn as high as interest as it had done previously. If a person was fully employed in a stable position, the anxiety may have been the greatest inconvenience. How many people do we know who actually got laid off due to factors directly related to the financial meltdown?
certainly not 1 in 10 of the people I know. It is difficult to relate to a statistic when it does not affect you personally.

in the non-profit charitable giving arena, two consecutive years of double-digit decreases in giving has come to bear on the overall stability of the net assets of the organization. but essentially, the assets are now about what they were 3 years ago. What was lost was the gain from the last 'boom' year.
Will people be more generous when they have plenty ? Time has yet to tell.. . will they be more generous when the economy improves. .doubtful. many will still be 'pulling out' of this recession for years to come.. .
how many people actually had to access and use their savings? deplete their savings?. .had none to begin with?
what does this say about our advertising world that continues to convince buyers that they must buy more to achieve success, or happiness?
LM

Guest Hosting a local TV talk show

Another item on my life's 'would like to try that' list has been accomplished.

Last week I was a guest on KCTU-5 or 43 TV, and this week I was invited to be 'guest host'. the topic: volunteering.

I think I did pretty well, even tho only one person (other than the station co-producer) called in. I may be asked back. LM