Holiday traditions & Not

It seems to me that once a person chooses to divorce, they may find themselves losing touch with the family traditions. .or is it perhaps a choice to do so? If I had to categorize myself, I would probably not use the word 'traditional.'. .In fact, as a change-agent, of sorts, I may be the bane of traditionalists.. .I like change. .I like learning and doing different things and differently. Sometimes I wonder if my family thinks badly of me for that.

To me, traditions sometimes equal 'boring', even emotionally painful .but I do try very hard to respect other peoples' need for honoring traditions. Some traditions are very good. .especially to provide feelings of security for children.

On the other hand, hearing the phrase 'but, we always do/ have done it that way!'. .just makes me cringe-- especially in a church or volunteer setting. It is also the basis for many a good sit-com stereotype of grandparents or in-laws. Being tied to tradition, just for the sake of tradition could be what keeps our world from moving toward peace; it can certainly delay conflict resolution. sometimes it is just plain neurotic!

so. . this Christmas is proving to be another example of non-tradition. no tree. no Christmas Eve worship, no dinner with the family. It can wait. That is not simply due to divorce. It is a part of honoring my married childrens' decisions about how they want to (or choose to) spend their holidays. I wonder how many people feel that they must do the family 'traditional' thing, even though they don't enjoy them any longer? Perhaps it is time to 'let go' of the obligations that were implied by well-meaning parents and allow each person and new couple find their own traditions. I hope that is not seen as a bad thing. LM

I am still thinking

that I should not write/publish what I'm really thinking. perhaps it is paranoia. maybe it's 'better judgment'. .but MAYBE. .somehow, some things are better left unsaid . .unpublished . .at some times.

this is a strange new thought for someone has often believed her calling was that to be a change-agent/prophetic voice/advocate for the oppressed.

Have I been beat down by the system?. .is this how the historic oppressive systems kept the well-educated people 'in their place'? Fear to speak out, to be seen as 'crazy' or obsessive or irrational or over-emotional. Is the 'fire in my belly' just an ulcer that has been caused by caring too much about the principles of honesty and reason and believing in possibility.

I have been referred to the book: The Innovator's Dilemma. perhaps there will be some answers there. Stand by. I'll report back.